Small things II

The Decor

Okay first thing you need to know to understand this "small thing" is the decor of my room.  A couple of years ago I began decorating my little bedroom in what I like to call sort of "retro coastal." The color scheme is white, beige, spring green and a muted turquoise blue with little, little hints of pink. The furnishings fall along the minimalist line with pieces that are distressed and touches of rattan.  The accents include hints of willow leaves, sea shells and coastal nostalgia.  Sprinkled in this very soothing decor are just a few very tasteful (and small) flamingos.  The flamingos and my favorite throw blanket provide the splash of pink. 

The Old Hairdryer 

So I have had this little compact red hair dryer for as long as I have been back in the US.  It belonged to my folks for many years prior to that.  Having long hair that I have treated as "wash and go" has meant that the hair dryer has had sporadic use over the past several years. A month ago however I got a hair cut that  has made me want to blow dry on a more frequent basis.  My hair dryer decided that it was not fond of the frequent use.  It became rather temperamental requiring a lot of coaxing (switch flipping and sweet talking) to get it to work.  This led me to the decision to look for a replacement. When a kind family at school gave me a $15 Target gift card, I decided to try to use it towards replacing the hair dryer.  

The New Hairdryer

I had been looking at the variety of options when what should I find at Target but a bright pink hair dryer for $14.99.  Being in my budget and having the features that I wanted, I decided to buy it.  As I see my pink and black hair dryer on the little side table, I can't help but see an abstract Flamingo head. and it makes me smile every time. How gracious of God to not only provide a working hair dryer but one that fits my decor!

It's the small things.

Merry??? Christmas

So I feel obligated to say "Merry Christmas!" yet to be honest I am not exactly feeling "merry" this morning.

You see, after sniffling and dealing with drainage for a couple of weeks, today I woke up will the full blown "shoot me now" cold.  It is Christmas day and I am sick.  I have never done well with being sick on Christmas, my birthday or any holiday for that matter.  In my world, it just should not be.  So that is the foundation for my less than merry mood.  Want more????

So Mom got the cold the day before.  So that one "stable, holds it all together for this family" person is not functioning 100%.  She missed the Christmas Eve service and dinner at my house. The traditional Christmas Eve dinner at my house was reduced to Peter in one room and me in another eating our dinner.  

Because of Flu and other illnesses Larry's nursing home has been on "lock down" for almost a week. He is not able to come home today for Christmas. Because mom and I are both sick, neither one of us is going to be able to go in (hands washed and masked, as I did last night) to see him.  He will spend today at the Nursing Home in the ordinary way without visitors (and he is used to a daily visit from family.)

Need more....

Peter has continued to act as if I am his maid and personal attendant.  The Batman PJ bottoms I gave him last night were completely rejected.  And honestly I am anticipating more of the same today with the gifts I have bought him.  And when tomorrow comes no doubt there will be request for more. Ever read "If you give a mouse a cookie"???  Yeah that is Peter.  And I can't help but think Peter acts as he does because I allow it.  And well that just makes me mad at me.

Did I mention that the cream curdled twice when trying to make my tomato soup for Christmas Eve. So I made chili.

So I can't honestly greet you with Merry Christmas today because it would be a lie.  However I can greet you with "Hopeful Christmas," because today isn't really about being "merry".  It isn't really about the family smiling around the tree. Today is about hope.  We recognize today that God kept his promise to his people from way back in Genesis.  He promised a savior and he sent him.  He sent his son Jesus to do what we could not do for ourselves.  Not only that but he  will continue to do for us what we can not to for ourselves.  And we will celebrate with him one day in all His glory and splendor without sickness and sin to mar it.

Christmas marks hope fulfilled.  It gives reason to continue to hope.

So whether your Christmas is Merry and Bright today or not, I pray that it will not be without HOPE.

Small Things

Life is hard.  There is no way around it.  You make a plan and things change the plan. You put bread in the toaster and it burns.  Hurting people you know experience more hurts and you feel at a loss. You give and give and the receiver wants more and more.  You figure your bills before pay day and you are in the red before you even get paid. You learn a new truth and resolve to live by it only to forget it when you needed to remember it.  Yes, life is hard.  But then in the midst of life's trials . . . . . .

You spot a cockroach, a big one crawling along your kitchen ceiling.  You do that squealing thing running for the can of roach spray you hope is in the laundry room.  You aim at the roach and give it all you got.  Without any maneuvering on your part, that roach falls directly into the kitchen trashcan so you can smother it with more spray followed by the lid. You giggle thinking how you got that roach and scored two points all in one swoop.  Plus you didn't have to touch that yucky thing!  That's when you thank God for the small things.

Dad update

So I am sure that it is not coincidence that Thursday afternoon by which time many people would have seen my post and were praying, Dad took an amazing turn around for the good. He was shaving, brushing his teeth, walking the halls, and all in a much less agitated and confused state.  He was sent home Friday afternoon.  When I saw him that evening he was sitting in his chair watching TV.  He said he was tired but was fairly chatty.  There was some normal repeated conversation and some hints of confusion but nothing like what was happening in the hospital earlier in the week.

Due to some caring co-workers who sent me off when my concern and weariness was evident, I was at the hospital Thursday morning when the Doctor came.  I had an opportunity to express my concern for dad's mental well being.  As it often is, Dad was lucid during the doctor's visit and he was unaware of the behaviors Mom and I had witnessed. Basically the Doctor's conclusion was that what Dad experience is common among the elderly during hospital stays.  Mom and I also tend to think the numerous medications he was taking contributed as well.  

The report is that he has had a pretty good weekend.  He has a cough from the respiratory issues but he is doing the necessary breathing exercises to help with that.  He is now looking forward to a visit from his friend in Mississippi who is coming to do some projects around Mom and Dad's condo this weekend.

Thank you for your prayers.  I am convinced there is a connection between them and his amazing turn around. 

Dad

Wanted to share that Dad has been in the hospital since early Sunday morning.  He went in with a stomach blockage.  This is a somewhat common occurrence so it was not too alarming. Although that issue has not been totally resolved, it is better.  However meanwhile, respiratory issues developed this morning.  The most distressing part is his confusion and crazy talk.  It has been humorous in some regards.  In truth there are times we haven't been sure that he was really not aware or just being funny.  The nurses have told mom that it is certainly not uncommon for people in the hospital to show such confusion.  We have also wondered what is connected to medicine that he is on.  We have tried not to be alarmed but some interactions with him today have been somewhat disturbing.  Mom is staying with him the majority of the time.  She is an experienced hospital companion from many stays with both my dad and brother.  None the less, it has to be wearing.  Appreciate your prayers for clarity for the doctors, Dad's healing, and mom's stamina and strength. Thank you.  

Still in Shock!

So I am still stunned by what happened this evening.  I keep looking to see if I really picked up my kid to bring home for the night.  Let me provide a little background.

Peter is at Military school for the second year.  He has not been real happy about it especially about the fact that I have him board there when we live two miles away from the school.  I was advised that he would receive more discipline training by boarding.  I had said that being a day student was a future option but I did not promise it for this year like Peter claims I had.  Thus he was pretty rude during the first month and half of weekends home. Over the past month I have seen his attitude improving.  He has engaged more in conversations and been more responsive to spending time with his grandparents. (It helps a lot that they have cable TV for football game viewing and they provide him with food of his choice.) 

This weekend was homecoming weekend at the school. I was able to meet with some teachers yesterday and was told that he is a good kid. In general the teachers see Peter making real efforts at his work. Unlike last year he has been passing all his classes every week.  He seems motivated by the desire to come home for the weekend which requires him to be passing all his classes. When he was begging me to pick him up today before the mandatory homecoming dance, I asked him if he didn't like girls.  He quickly replied, "I like girls. I just have other priorities right now like my grades."  I then replied with "so you are planning to study Saturday night?"  I got one of those rare but beautiful grins as he said "no!" I had offered earlier to find him a date and he quickly declined. Often girls are "bused" in from an all girls school but when I picked him up this evening  he said the bus of girls didn't come.

Before I get to the shocker thing let me say I was already feeling proud and impressed with my son. Today I went to the Military Parade.  Okay so that you don't make the same mistake I did when I first heard about the Parade let me clarify this event.  Remove from your mind pictures of floats, clowns, candy, or anything that involves people walking down the street. The Military Parade does include the Military School Band and the boys marching. However it is primarily conducted on the football field (or indoor field in cold weather).  There is systematic movement, marching, and standing in formation as well as some shouting. Today's parade was longer than usual because of special recognition for Homecoming. Essentially those young men stood out on the field for close to an hour with very little movement.  For those of you who remember Peter, that is impressive.  Doing such takes patience and discipline.  I know I was getting antsy just watching it. This wasn't my first parade but once again I found myself really impressed with his ability to do that.

Count in 5 from the left to find Peter. Marching to the Field.

This shows 4 of the 9 companies on the field before the crowd.

Delta Company.  Peter is somewhere in the back.

Peter is in the Middle. Leaving after standing in the field an hour.

Impressive, right?

Okay so this is what happened.  Peter and I were driving home from the school this evening in the dark.  He was very anxious to get home to his couch and game system.  He even declined a stop for food or a Redbox movie.  We came down the hill rounding the corner just before our house.  Just as I realized something was in the road Peter shouted out for me to stop.  He saw before I did that there were 4 large folding tables in the middle of the road.  It was a close call as I swerved to miss them.  As I was rounding them he told me to stop as he prepared to get out of the car.  I said "what are you doing?"  He said "I am going to move them before somebody hits them."  He picked each one up moving them off the street up onto the grass.  He couldn't figure out why someone would put them there.  (I suggested that they fell off a truck).  He didn't understand why they were there but he knew that they shouldn't stay and took action to move them.  Now that may seem like common sense to you. You may be wondering why I considered it such a big deal.  Peter rarely thinks beyond his personal interest and to take the time and initiative to move something that did not immediately effect him was a big deal.  He was thinking beyond himself.  Thank God for Military School!

My first Half Marathon, In Pictures

It was my first (and possibly only) half marathon yet I was rather strategic in my planning.

First of all I chose a location that would be pretty to look at while running and fun to re-cooperate at following the race.

Running the first Mile as the sun rose up over the Ocean!

 

Many of the 13.1 miles involve running under moss covered Oaks.

Next I invited a buddy who likes to take pictures so I could have documentation of the event. It also helped that she loves the beach making it easier to endure all my talk about racing and crazy pre-race preparation.  

Tammy, my travel buddy and a fabulous photographer

I spent the past three months training. I found a training buddy, actually she found me when she startled me on one of my runs.  Haley helped me push myself to go faster and longer when I didn't want to.  After some of our runs, I decreased my original target time. Therefore I set my I pod for a 2 hour and 30 minute run. I wore my running hat (John Deere because nothing runs like a deer) and followed the crowd.

And then I just ran and ran and ran and ran.  I had fun the first few miles and spent the last 10 swearing I would never do such a run again.  Truthfully all of my strategically planned music and the scenery didn't mean quite as much as I thought it would. I was just trying to get to the finish line without dying! And 13.1 miles later, I did!

Grateful for Tammy who captured my success for all to see.

Then I begged for water and a place to sit swearing this was my one and only half marathon. Pretty soon, the reward of it all began to kick in!   I got my finisher medal.  I realized that I had basically met my goal having run it in 2 hours 30 minutes and 55 seconds (gun time). Chip time was only 13 seconds! I was tenth out of 17 in the 45-49 age female category.  I was the 208 finisher out of 296. All what I consider respectable.  My college roommate's husband and  neighbor ran the half marathon as well.  Their families ran the 5K. It was Melissa (the roommate's) first 5K.  She was at the 13 mile mark of my race waiting for me.  I had not seen her in years and it was really sweet to have her take my hand and run the last .1 with me.  It was fun to visit with her and her family for a while after the race.

David(the neighbor), Me and Billy (Melissa's husband)

It was pointed out at some point that I was telling anybody who would listen that I was running a half marathon.  It is true.  I did want people to know.  I realized that this run was very significant for me. See most of my life I have considered myself a NON-athlete and a "quit when it gets hard" kind of gal.  Running consistently  for two and a half hours  covering 13.1 miles pretty much proves both of those beliefs as being false. And I wanted everyone to know.  However I did NOT wear my medal to the beach, dinner or even breakfast the next day as I witnessed other participants to do.

Exhausted put very proud of me!

I planned this half marathon to be my one and only.  That thought was confirmed adamantly during the last 10 miles of the race and the two days following.  But I confess that there are now thoughts of attempting another one (in another fun and flat location) floating around in my head!

Larry turns 50!

Larry turned 50 yesterday and thanks to many friends and my mom's planning, it was two days of lots of grins!  Larry received somewhere around 70 cards/emails.  He is still going through them. And as was hoped he is having fun remembering stories written as well as other memories!  He remembers a lot for an "old guy!" I've had a lot of fun reading through the cards myself. On Sunday he got to go on his first outing since entering the nursing home (7 months!)  He and I had some close brother sister time as I maneuvered him (following careful instruction and practice with therapist) in and out of the car. We went to a Mexican restaurant.  Peter came.  The offer of free food is motivational! Larry  got to wear the sombrero and have fried ice cream.  He was grinning the whole time!  On Monday (the actual birthday) there were surprise visits (including one from a favorite cousin who lives in Kansas), decorations, and lots of teasing.  Thanks to all who sent birthday wishes!  It was indeed a pretty special day.

Postcards from anywhere

So I had this idea to collect postcards and create an album for my preschool class as part of preschool social studies.  We can match the cards with the locations on our world map.  I had mentioned this to a few folks and we have received postcards from Alaska with ones from India hopefully on their way. I am not sure how much my preschoolers will "understand" but hopefully as the year progresses, it will be something they enjoy. Meanwhile my after school boys really enjoyed hearing what my friends visiting Alaska wrote as well as looking at the pictures.  So though this began as a preschool project, I think it is one that will be enjoyable and beneficial to my after school program as well.   I would love to receive postcards from wherever. So wherever you reside or travel, if you would like to send a postcard my way, I will include it in the "Postcard Book" - a photo album with a cool world map cover!  This will then be used to share with the kids I teach.  The preschoolers will love the pictures and whatever information you want to share about the place of origin will be educational for the older kids. Thanks in advance.  I am excited about all the places we will "see!"

It's me again

Okay so I blog the way I do many things, with considerable inconsistency.  Well at least I am consistent about that! As some folks would tell you (or you personally know) sometimes I am not heard from unless I need something.  It is not one of the traits I am the most proud of but at least I admit it. Today I need some things, so here I am.

We need prayer. So speaking of inconsistency; Dad's memory, mood and energy level continues to swing.  It appears to be less related to the medicine than we thought.  Mom said he was more like his old self this week regarding doing task and projects and his humor seemed good.  Last night however I observed some significant memory recall problems. And this morning he didn't want to get out of bed because  he was depressed.  That seems linked to the fact that I had questioned the wisdom of a 10 hour driving trip that he has planned with my mom. (I offered to take him at a different time but that does not over ride the offense of implying he can't or shouldn't do what he has always been able to do.)  So I am asking for prayer for my dad, mom and myself.  Dad's safety is a concern as well as just the emotional side of aging that strongly effects him.  Mom deals with  him and the variances in his mood and memory daily.  I have volunteered to contact his doctor about our concerns regarding his memory. I also want to treat my dad with dignity. However I tend to get frustrated with his stubbornness and unknowingly offend with my responses.

We need memories.  Larry is turning 50 years old at the end of the month.  Mom and I are trying to plan some special events to commemorate it.  Knowing how much Larry loves to recall favorite memories, we are creating a "50 memories for Larry" book.  (And yes we borrowed this idea, it is not an original to us.)   We are asking for friends and family to send Mom or I (via e-mail or snail mail) memories of Larry.  We will compile a book with the memories.  Pictures are an added bonus if you have any to include.  Our target date is to have memories collected two weeks from now, September 22nd so we can get the book together by his birthday on September 29th.  I know it will be fun for Larry to hear from a variety of people from a variety of times in his life. 

I need children's NIV bibles.  I have some Ugandan friends who are wanting 3 NIV children's bibles for their children. They mentioned the New Adventure Bible: the NIV bible for kids. However I do not think they are limited to that.  Any extra childrens NIV bibles I can find I will send as I am sure they will know of others who would like to have them.  Books like that are not easy to find in Uganda and are expensive when found. Before I purchased any, I thought I would ask if anybody had a good condition NIV children's bible collecting dust on a shelf that they would like to donate.  If so, please let me know as I hope to send them to them next month

Now I just need a few minutes to gloat.  Today I ran 9 miles.  Yep, I who was always picked last on teams and failed jump roping in the 9th grade, am 9 miles into the target of 13.1  I am running a Half Marathon down at the beach October 11th.  I have been training for a couple of months. Each weekend I add a mile to my "long run."  Every run, I question my sanity. Then I reach my goal and wonder what I was whining about.  I realize that today was like running 3 - 5K races in a row.  Not too shabby for a non athlete.  I am not fast but as the saying goes "I am faster than the person on the couch."  The other evening I was running and startled when a lady came running up beside me.  As I was recovering and she was apologizing we began chatting.  I ended up running 3 miles with her.  She is 20 years my junior and an athlete.  Keeping up with her was pushing me.  Fortunately she was chatty and I was just spurting out stuff like " great" pant pant pant "wow" breath breath breath "really" huff huff huff.  At one point when I said I was going to have to quit she offered to slow down a bit so we could keep running together.  Lets just say her definition of slow down and mine were not the same.  Needless to say I finished my 4 miles faster than ever and I was too distracted by the conversation to realize how hard I was working. Haley seemed happy to have someone to run with and  I was excited to be "pushed beyond my comfort zone.  I had a better run today just knowing I could run a little harder than I thought I could.  

So that is pretty much what a I needed.  I will add that Peter is back at Military School.  He has been home this weekend.  He has not been a happy camper so fortunately for me, I get to take him back in an hour : )  This school year is wild and crazy.  My fabulous co worker of the past four years took a job at another preschool the week before we started back.  Shelley was my left brain and right arm. She made me look good. Add to her absence the fact that I have a full class of sweet but "busy busy busy" kiddos, school has a bit of a crazy feel to it. 

Well that is it for now, you know until  I need something else!

A Tuesday Tangent

Today's discovery  - I do not relax well.  

So I declared today my "day off" - a "do nothing day." Though I have only worked part time this summer (mornings at a preschool) the days have felt really busy with going here and there and doing this and that. Tomorrow I take Peter to boarding school for football camp. The day is full with social and work plans. The next day our city schools return thus the After School Program I lead will commence.  And since we start work at the preschool next Monday, I am trying to get a head start. All of that to say, things are gearing up. I did not work at the preschool yesterday or today so I got this great plan.  I decided to work hard yesterday to clean house, get needed school work turned in, and run errands so that I could hang out at home in my PJ's and do "nothing."  So yesterday I worked on school work, bought school supplies, and tackled the house including Peter's laundry.  I felt that the locker room aroma of his room required that it ALL be washed!  Okay so I was up into the wee (and I mean wee) hours of the morning cleaning house (baseboards, laundry, self cleaning the oven, vacuuming, etc) all with the goal of " I am going to do "nothing" when I finally wake up tomorrow!"  I had visions of lounging on my bed watching Netflix, reading, eating whatever didn't need cooked and having no time commitments all while clad in my PJ's.  Nice dream but the reality is that I just don't know how to do that.

I woke up and thought "let me just finish up Peter's Laundry." Followed by "let me put the dishes on the counter away so it is really clean looking."  This was soon followed by "ought to paint my toenails." I told myself that was leisurely right.  Those "just let me do real quick" was followed by cooking breakfast, putting soup in the crock pot, hanging a new calendar, making my bed, responding to e-mails, checking my bank statement, and well you get the picture.  I need to go to the post office before 5.  I tell myself walking would be "leisurely." And oh I am waiting for this guy to come buy the old lawn mower.  He was to be here earlier but was delayed so I am "waiting."  At some point Peter is going to need a Pizza.  And I get that need as it is his last night at home before going to school .  I am too cheap to resort to delivery and will probably go out to get one. I should go for a run because you know I am in "training."  And it just goes on and on

I have concluded that the problem is not that I have too much to do.  The problem is that I don't know how to stop doing.  I don't know how to stop and relax.  There is something that tells me I have to be doing.  I often blame it on others - too much work, Peter's request, etc - but the problem lies within.  I can even tell myself that "I want to do these things."  I will say "well it makes me feel better when the house is clean, recipe files organized, people's needs met.".  And it does but why do I need to "do these things" to make myself feel better?  

So next time you here me say how busy I am or that I never have time to relax, you will know the truth.  I just haven't figured out how to stop doing.

Since even writing this post has an element of doing something to check off my list, I think I will close.

Oh but can I tell you one funny thing?  I have always thought that  Peter and I are so opposite in every way. This summer though I have begun to realize that there are more similarities than I realized.  One of them is that neither of us likes to go to bed.  We are night owls who fight observing a descent bed time even when exhausted.  I slacked off with his bedtime curfews this summer because well I "get it."  Last night when I told him I was going to get the house cleaning done even if it meant staying up late, he asked if he could stay up all night.  Peter and I started the tradition of "all nighters" when he was about eight. It involves the TV and junk food.  He always looked forward to his one all nighter during the summer.  I know he does it now when staying at his friend Abe's so I didn't think much about declaring it an all nighter.  I said sure, especially since I was determined to get my housework done before going to bed.  At 3 AM he was watching TV and I was vacuuming.  I got to hoping that we weren't keeping the neighbors awake.  It was funny that when I had run the vacuum cleaner just a little too long for his preferences (I was deep cleaning), Peter said "Mom, are you done vacuuming.  It is 3 AM."  For some reason It struck me as funny.  We are so different and yet here we were two night owls acting like it was daytime. 

In Case you were wondering II

Yes Peter is returning to Military School for the 2014-15 school year.  As in similar fashion to last year, with only two weeks until Peter starts school, the money for this years tuition has shown up.  I am extremely grateful to the school and individual friends and family who have contributed.  And once again I am also in awe of God's provision of something that always seems so out of reach.

Larry is doing well.  Hey has recently traded in his nightly DVD watching for Hide and Seek books.  He is even checking off the found ones with a pencil.  Holding a pencil and maneuvering it is big progress for Larry. For the most part he seems happy.  Just last week I had two staff members tell me how much they loved my brother.  Knowing he is loved where he is makes it all so much easier to leave him at the end of a visit.  Some progress with the finances has been made but there is still hoops that need to be successfully passed through.

Recently Mom and I were quite concerned about my Dad.  He was struggling with health, energy and memory in a very significant and noticeable way.  The last two weeks he had a variety of doctor's appointments.  In this process a couple of medications were removed with another decreased.  This week, the "old" Dad emerged. He has taken on projects he wouldn't have considered last week and is not showing the memory problems either.  Wow. So it looks like maybe what was going on was related to being over medicated.  For those who have heard of my concern for my Dad, you know that this is a real relief.  We are hopeful that the renewed Dad will continue through future medication adjustments.

You would think

You would think that with Summer's less demanding work schedule that I would have

• deep cleaned my house
• my yard in well groomed shape
• all thank you notes written
• crafted all the things I had been waiting for summer to craft
• visited all my dear friends
• written weekly blog post

  . . . . .   you would think.

Three more days of summer job with just a few days off before my afternoon job starts soon followed by planning days for my preschool job.  So much for the summer "to do" list!

In case you have been wondering

It has been a few weeks so just just in case you have been wondering, here is a little update:

How was the Beach with 2 teenage boys?

 It was suprisingly easy and enjoyable.  I was really glad we took Abe as he pushed Peter to get out of the hotel room and is more chatty with me than Peter.  They had a good time and I had a good bit of down time.  Only regret was that we had to come home too soon! This picture was on the last evening. After late night TV and two days at the water park, we had to nudge Peter to keep him awake.

How is Larry?

My thoughts are that he is doing well.  He seems to be content in his new home.  We revisited the outdoor table for a Father's Day Chicken Dinner.  Between Mom, Dad and I, we try to visit at least once a day.  He has some really good care givers for which we are grateful.  There are still some unresolved financial issues.  Prayers that things will be sorted out in his favor soon is appreciated. Please pray that the paperwork will go through quickly at each crucial step and red tape wont hinder him getting the needed aid.

Are Mom and Dad settled in their new house?

I think one can honestly say that progress has been made. The boxes have diminished, one car fits in the two car garage, and we hung dad's dozen plus clocks along with a few pictures. They have phone and internet. As of this past week they have a working TV and after my emergency visit to their house, they now know how to work it.   Currently there are plans for some new laundry room cabinets and a re-do on the shower doors.  They are also looking at changing some flooring.  It is this last possibility that has stopped mom from unpacking any more boxes. There are few other purchases that are being shopped for. Things are settling and we are all very happy about their new home.  However Moving and settling is just a process and one that takes longer than a week! That is a fact that Dad often forgets.

During this move, mom traded in her desk top computer for a laptop.  And in that process, her contacts were lost.  So if you are a correspondent of my mom's - drop her a note so she can add your address back in!

Am I working this summer?

Yes I work mornings at a church preschool.  It is a fun and low stress job.  I actually serve as an aide for a three year old who was in my class this past year at the Special Needs preschool.  It is so fun to work with her as well as to help educate children and staff who are not as familiar with children with special needs.  It is fun to see the other children embrace my young friend.  Though I technically work 28 hours a week, I seem to be working all the time! I am not exactly sure doing what but I am constantly on the go putting gas in my car more frequently and wondering how I got things done during the busy school year. It has been fun to get my yard back in order and decorate my front porch. My house is in order at last.  Just needs a good deep clean and a few more cabinets and drawers sorted through.  I willingly am taking on a few "gigs" to supplement the income.  Later in July I will be dog sitting.  Last weekend, I had a new experience.  I can now add to my resume the job of "Cow Sitter."  Beings that my friends were only gone for the weekend, the essence of my job was to  stay in their beautiful farm house with the gorgeous view and periodically count the 15 cows, 1 bull and 1 donkey down in the field below the house.  It was a pleasant way to make a little money for porch decor and groceries to feed my ever hungry 15 year old.

How is Peter?

Peter is easier this summer than last but not without it's challenges.  He has been working out with the few other local students and coaches at the military School this summer in preparation for Football season.  I am grateful for this activity.  Funding for the upcoming school year is still incomplete.  Even though we did not know the money would be available until a week before he started last year, I find I am more anxious about the financial detail this year.  After having experienced the benefit of the Military School for Peter last year, I feel a desperation this year that he be able to return.  In spite of how God so marvelously provided for school last year, I do struggle to believe that he will do it again this year. 

Anything Fun Planned?

I plan to run the Atlanta Peachtree Road Race this Friday July 4th.  I had to cancel plans to run it last year so am excited to try again.  I am not near as prepared this year but am excited none the less.  Hopefully it will be the boost to keep me working towards the Half Marathon at Jekyll Island in October.  With that said - I better head to bed so I am rested come Friday.

Sally Ann has left the premise

Yep - Sally Ann has left the big house signaling the completion of moving Mom and Dad from big house of the past 20 years to the retirement condo of the future.  By the way Sally Ann is my mom's goldfish - a gift from Peter several years ago.  She was the last precious cargo transferred.  We spent four crazy days of loading cars, driving across town, and unloading.  The finale was my yard sale yesterday to sell surplus that needed to go so I could fit the stuff I took from Mom's.  Mom and Dad now have the huge task of trying to figure out what will stay in the condo and what will go into the next yard sale.  My house is still pretty topsy turvey as well but I am going to leave it behind.  Peter and his friend Abe and I are headed to the beach in the morning.  Yep - I am taking two teenage boys to the beach by myself for a few days.  I am either brave or crazy.  Right now I am just tired and looking forward to hanging out on the beach with a book.  It would just be nice if I could find the book I was going to read.  It is buried somewhere in the ruble of my house. Oh well, I guess I will have to read that one later!  

Thanks for all of the support and prayers. Thanks for continued prayers for Mom and Dad as they take care of new house details and getting settled.  And well I must say, I would appreciate prayers for a peaceful few days with the boys at the beach.  Grateful for all your support,

Moving

So on June 2nd, my parents 53rd wedding anniversary, my folks were homeless for about 4 hours.  The former home was sold in the morning and the condo purchased in the afternoon very smoothly.  By that evening we had carted 6 car loads of stuff to the condo.  Yesterday three fabulous movers loaded, carried and unloaded their furniture.  We made several more car load trips as well.  Today is the final push to get the remaining items (mostly pictures, plants and a pantry of food) out of the house.  Tomorrow will be cleaning day.  There is a lot of stuff piled in the garage of the condo.  Some will work its way into the house and some will need to find new homes.  Dad is anxious to see this happen.  Hopefully he will give mom the time she needs to go through the purging process without too much stress. We are all real excited about the new place.  It really is just the right size and the location is great. They are two miles from me and Peter and Larry is a mile on the other side.  And the distance to their doctors, grocery stores, and eateries is even closer.  The move is not over but there is much to be grateful for thus far in how things have progressed. Grateful for those of you who have been praying for us. 

The end of May - more wants

May is about to come to an end and as seems to be the norm for this month, it has been a short yet crazy long month.  I am hopeful that just maybe, June will bring a bit of relief. Knowing that some of you might be curious and that your prayers have made me very evident of God's presence and working in the life of my family, I want to share a brief summary of what is currently happening.

I finished the year at my morning preschool as well as the After School program last Friday. It was preceded by a good bit of paperwork and  one all nighter reminiscent of my college days to get it all done. And yes the all nighter  has definitely lost isn't glamour with age. During the last two weeks of school, it was discovered that I had lice and I broke a tooth which has led to the need for significant and costly dental work.  Peter came home on Saturday.  With that comes the ongoing battle of how to keep him from becoming attached to the living room couch and TV.  He has a little more motivation this summer in regards to working out for Football but I can still tell that it is going to be a struggle.  My house is in a state of chaos due to the craziness of the month and the moving in of things from my parents.  I don't do well with the chaos and find I want to migrate to my room (the one place I have managed to keep organized) and not deal with the rest of it.   I have a tendency to be overwhelmed by it all and thus putting it off so that the mountain grow even larger. This response is the same one that resulted in an the All nighter to complete my school work a week ago.

As for my parents, the closing is scheduled for June 2nd with everything needing to be out of their house by Thursday.  Currently there is a signature needed by someone who is on vacation for the closing to take place.  We have a refrigerator and another major piece of furniture that needs homes.  There is a lot of packing that needs to be done.  Mom and dad just returned from their 60th high school reunion and gratefully got some rest as they were with family for a week.  They have returned with lots to be attended to regarding the move. In addition mom is having to deal with complications involving my brother's Medicaid. Also Larry has shown an increase in seizures over the past few days.  The wear of the move and all that is going on is definitely showing in my dad.  

This week I began my summer job working mornings  at a nearby preschool (the place where I work the After School Program during the school year.) I will take off next week to help with the move. I hope to have a yard sale following my parents move to get rid of stuff so I can have room for things that I wanted to keep of my folks. After that (due to the generosity of my Aunt) I will be able to take two teenage boys (Peter and his friend)  to the beach for four days.  Hopefully following that we will settle into a bit of a routine for the summer.

So here is what I want - what I am asking for:

• Wisdom on how to "motivate" Peter so that he spends his summer productively.
• My own motivation to do what needs to be done and not be paralyzed by the magnitude of it all.
• Financial provisions for the 2014-15 School year for Peter.  To know if there is something God is asking me to "do" differently to bring in the needed money.
• Stamina and health for my mom and dad during the move.
• The Medicare issue will be resolved and Larry's needed care provided for.
• The needed documents for the Closing completed and a smooth closing on both houses Monday.
• The packing and moving to get done in a safe and timely manner
• Wisdom of the doctors regarding Larry's increased seizures.
• My ability to trust God in the craziness of it all and to glorify him and not the problems.

I am sure I could keep the list going but that seems like the basic concerns at the moment. Thank you for letting me share them with you.

Mother's Day

So our mother's day wasn't exactly how Hallmark might portray it, but it was very sweet none the less.  I brought a picnic that we could share in the court yard of Larry's new residence.  It didn't rain, Peter came, Peter was pleasant and we were all together.  It was pretty special.

My Awesome Mom!

Peter's determination not to smile.

Peter's struggle not to smile.

Peter's inability to keep from smiling.  Love that smile!

Lindaslist 2

So while mom and I were talking we thought of a couple more items that could be included on Lindalist and I realized I have pictures of a few of the items listed earlier.  In addition to the other items listed that need a new home, there is 

• a Kenmore  21.9 Cubic Ft, Refrigerator --Bottom mount Freezer - Almond Color bought December 2009.  Works well just not needed.
• The toddler table and two chairs that my dad built when my brother was little.  It is 26 in wide by 22  in wide by 22 in tall with a little drawer for paper and crayons.  It has lots of history!

Pictures of items listed earlier:

The computer cabinet or storage cabinet as we used it for.

Mom's Secretary.  She won it for sales in Tupperware!

I know mom, I didn't take all the stuff off the beds before taking the picture and now everyone knows the spare room had become the storage room.  Sorry! The bunk beds are currently separated and piled upon however this give an idea of what the wood looks like.  See  a glimpse of the glider rocking chair in the lower  left corner?

Lindaslist

With 4 weeks until Mom and Dad move, they are walking through the house looking at the furniture saying "keep that" and "let that go."  and Behind them is Linda going "I want that" and "you can't get rid of that!"  Most of the sentimental pieces are going to the new Condo or my house.  There are some items though that need new homes. For those readers who are local or those interested in a road trip, I am going to list here some large items needing new homes and opportunities to check out some of the other "stuff" that will not be going to the Condo or my house.  Somehow it is easier to let stuff go to people I know, especially the sentimental pieces. 

Currently selling:

• full bottom/single top wooden bunk bed set very lightly used
• a beautiful yet large computer cabinet 
• reclining love seat and one or two matching reclines. (not sure they have decide which of their two sets are staying and which is going.)
• large desk/shelf set up
• drafting table
• glider rocker with matching ottoman (mauve) 
• hall tree with mirror
• secretary with glass display top and drawers on bottom
• boxed sets of baseball cards.  Many
• the dining table and 4 chairs that I grew up with.  Yes the one we sat on to open birthday presents when I was little.  
• little bookcase (38 in wide and less than 3 feet tall) dad made in their living room when my folks were newlyweds (needs home if mom or I can't find room for it)

The "Man Sale" is Saturday May 3rd.  Tools, yard items, men's clothes

The "Everything Else Sale" is Friday and Saturday May 16th and 17th

There will likely be a " left over sale " at Linda's in early June.  Got to make room at my house for the sentimental pieces I am not willing to let them get rid of! 

If something sparks an interest or you know of someone in need, let me know!

Wanting - part 2

The "want list" I made has been helpful for me because I am seeing how God has answered some things very specifically. I think it is unfair to not let you know how God has answered "the want list" in some pretty amazing ways.  I know many of you have been praying and I am grateful.

As stated in earlier post, just as Mom asked God, the first person to look at the house, put a contract on it. The inspections on both places have gone well so plans continue to move forward.  The closings are scheduled for June 2nd with hopes of having all moved out and in by the end of that week.

I have asked for help and support of my folks in their move.  This weekend a friend of my dad's came from 7 hours away with his wife to help my parents.  This is a man whom my dad worked with years ago and told me that he and my dad just hit it off and he has a special place for my dad. He helped dad clean out his attic and under the house as well as the utility room.  He took home some of dads bigger tools.  And I think dad is a bit like me, it is nice to give your treasures away to friends.  Dean and Kay's help was such an answer to my request and Kay told me it was a good thing for Dean as well.

Larry does not yet know about my parents move.  However something said this week and his response gave mom the impression that he is happy where he is and not anxious to go home. He really does seem content. That makes leaving him at the end of a visit so much easier.  

I was notified this week that we have been granted the same financial assistance from Peter's school that we received last year.  This is good news as the possible options were to receive same or less!  More is needed to completely pay for the coming school year but this provision from the school is huge.  I am very grateful for the school's generosity and God's provision.

I had been struggling with job and lifestyle related decisions.  Through the Perspectives class I have been taking this Spring, God used some things I had been learning and processing to guide my thinking.  I am grateful for this as I have made some decisions that were not necessarily "easy" or "safe" yet fit with my desire to live "intentionally." 

Thank you for praying and now sharing in the joy!  We appreciate your prayers if you are so led as we continue to watch God answer from the "want list."

Wow

We asked God to sell my folks house quick.  Looks like he said yes.

Two weeks ago tomorrow the sign went in the yard.  Three days later the photographer took photos.  Three days after that the house was on the real-estate page in the paper.  Two days later a real-estate agent wanted to show the house - the first viewing.  That night my folks had a contract on their house.  This Tuesday is the inspection on their house. If all goes well, Wednesday Mom and Dad will begin packing and preparing for yard sales. The scheduled closing for their house and new Condo is June 2nd with three days to move! 

Wow God,Wow!

Let it Go

I like many others thought the newest Disney movie Frozen was a winner.  I bought the movie and even downloaded "Let it Go" onto my Ipod.  It makes for a great soundtrack to the last .2 miles of a race. It does seem like that song is everywhere these days though.  Recently a friend shared Scott Kramer's video of his own version of the famous song.  Scott is a dad who is tired of the song and ready to "let it go."   I discovered that he is not the only one posting versions of "Frozen" songs on YouTube. I found it all pretty funny. What was even funnier was when I realized that I was singing my own versions of "Let it Go."

Because I didn't ask enough questions and made assumptions, I ended up paying $14 for a coke and pretzel at the ball park the other evening.  I kept going on and on to my companions about how I had just spent $6 on a piece of twisted bread!  I kept bringing it up and pretty soon the voice in my head started singing, "Let it go, let it go, they don't want to hear it anymore!"

Then today I was doing a major revamp on my wardrobe.  I was determined to downsize my clothing supply.  I figure that if I "have nothing to wear" when my closet and drawers are packed full then it wont be such a big deal if I reduced it by a third.  I would find myself holding a garment in hand, debating on whether it should stay or go and that silly song would pop in my head "Let it go, let it go, you don't wear it anymore. Let it go, let it go, take it off to the thrift store!"

Wanting

Do you ever get confused about your wants?  And I am thinking beyond simply knowing what it is that you want. I am realizing that my understanding of wants and especially how it fits into the life of a follower of Jesus can get pretty tangled.  I think there are the sounds of a variety of voices that include the following.  "If I want it, it probably isn't  a good idea."  If I want it, I probably won't get it." If I want it and I get it, I am not really sacrificing all for Jesus." "If I got what I wanted last time, I won't get it this time." "Don't say what you want, take what you get."  "What you want is so much more than what others have so its wrong to want it." "Its better to not want than risk being disappointed." "If you say what you want, someone might give it to you and then you are indebted to them." And we can't leave out the voice that yells out "I NEVER get what I want!" 

I have been discovering and sorting through some of this thinking recently.  How do my wants fit in with my trusting in Jesus for everything?  The truth is sometimes He answers our prayers as we want and sometimes He doesn't.  And the chorus of voices can create conflict in my mind about how I relate to Jesus when he doesn't answer my prayers as well as when he does. It also keeps me from bringing my wants before him. Recently a friend and I were talking about being okay in wanting God to do something then also being okay with what he does whether it is in line with what I wanted or not.  Sounds simple I know. I would like to think that I am free with God - letting my request be known and trusting him however he answers. Yet recognizing the "voices" in my head helps me realize that I have some twisted thinking that hinder this freedom.  

In response to this I have decided to share some of my "wants" or prayers, however you want to phrase it. I am often hesitant to publish a pubic list.  I think it is part of my twisted thinking which includes, " It is okay to make your personal prayer needs known in mass if you are a missionary but not if you are a preschool teacher in the US."  I know it doesn't really make sense.  There is a lot happening in my family right now. I thought if I listed my wants it might help me feel a little more organized about it.  And maybe there are things on this list that God would prompt you to also pray regarding.  

• Larry's stay in Rehab is becoming a stay in the Nursing Home with an indefinite end.  We want an easy switch over of the insurance coverage without complications.  I want him to have regular visitors. I want him to receive good care as well as have positive relationships with people at the Nursing Home. 
• My parents found a Condo that would allow them to downsize. It would also put them less than five minutes from Larry as well as me and their doctors!  We want their house which has just gone on the market to sell ASAP so that they can buy and move into the Condo quickly. Timing is pretty critical if this Condo is "the one."  The downsizing and move will be a large task.  I want to see them have support and help in this process as well as sustained health. 
• I want Peter to graduate from RMA in 2017.  I want the money for this coming school year so that he can attend as a boarding student. I want Peter to have good friendships and role models.
• There are other wants that I am not sure yet how to express so I will leave it at this for now.  

Whats Worse than . .

being a kid who is sick on her birthday?  Being an adult who is sick on her Spring Break!

When I was a pre-teen (I remember it is the year I got my first Shawn Cassidy album) I was sick for a whole week with some cold-flu thingy.  I don't know what I was sick with just that I was sick on my birthday.  My birthday party was postponed and I cried all day on my birthday. In my way of thinking, it was just not right that one should be sick on her birthday!  My family teases me about my crying because I was sick on my birthday.  I have learned that life doesn't always turn out like we think it should. However I confess  that I still think that some things shouldn't have to be imposed upon by a cold, flu, or virus. Therefore I am just a bit annoyed that on the second day of Spring Break I got sick.  

I have spent the past two days sleeping. Actually the first day was pretty fun.  I liked the freedom to lay in bed without feeling any guilt. But today when I didn't feel better, I started to get irritated because I have "a list".  There is this massive list of all the things I am going to do during Spring Break and it is hard to do those things when your feet keep taking you back to your bed. When I was still feeling yucky this evening, the panic really set in.  I have tickets for Peter and I to take friends to an Atlanta Braves game tomorrow night.  I haven't cried yet about being sick on Spring Break but if I have to miss out on tomorrow, I probably will. Okay so what's the good news in all of this?  I haven't been out shopping and spending money. I finished the financial aid application for Peter's school that I had been putting off. And I haven't had to use my sick leave!

Where We Are

If you have been wondering -

- Larry is making progress with rehab.  He still has little use of his right leg but his arm strength is increasing.  He is progressing in his ability to feed himself as well as push his wheel chair down the hall.  Having gotten over a sore throat and a stiff neck, he seems to be in fairly good spirits most of the time.

- Dad has been given the go ahead to drive as well as return to work.  As he likes to quote our dear friend Helen, "he is kicking, just not very high." 

 - Mom makes her visits to Larry two times a day.  She daily continues to push Larry to practice skills in the areas that the physical therapist, speech therapist and occupational therapist are working with Larry. As always mom seems to take care of everybody and do it with a smile on her face.

- Peter will be home on Spring Break next week.  He continues to "get by" at school.

- Next year's Military School Application is on the table ready to be filled out (hopefully this weekend) as well as the financial aid application.

- I am in the throws of "whirling" as I work on a variety of year end projects for my preschool class.

- Running season is under way.  I ran a women's 5K in Atlanta with a friend this morning.  It was a lot of fun as we ran with hundreds of women through the streets of Atlanta.  It was interesting how many men I noticed came out on their porches to watch.  At the end every woman was given a flower, a t-shirt, and a glass necklace along with other goodies.  It was fun.  I have several other races in the line up for this spring.  I plan to run the Peachtree 10K Road Race in Atlanta with thousands of other in July and my big goal is to run in a half marathon at the beach in October.  As my coworker said, running has become "my happy place" and I am grateful for the physical ability to do so. 

- and yeah, the cat never came back.

Now I get it!

One great phenomenon to me is kids and their light up shoes.  At school, a child will run up to me stomping their feet saying" look at my shoes" as they burst into flashes of light.  It is not uncommon to have a child on any given day at school sporting a pair of light up shoes. The more the child dances, jumps and runs, the more they sparkle.  And it appears the more the shoes sparkle, the more the child sparkles too.  

As a parent and a teacher, light up shoes do not always produce joy.  Children are easily distracted by the lights on their shoes.  Teachers can often be distracted by the lights on their shoes!  I remember Peter having a pair of light up shoes when we lived in Uganda. There were times at night that I could see flashes of light coming from the shoe shelf in the hallway and no little feet were in those shoes.  Earth quake tremors? other unknown explanations?  Whatever it was, shoes lighting up on their own in the hallway is just a little unnerving. So needless to say I have not been one to champion the inventor of the light up shoe.  It just seems so unnecessary and pointless.  That is until recently.

When Peter told me he was going to participate in track we went shoe shopping.  In order to maximize our dollar and take advantage of a store promotion we each got a pair of running shoes.  I knew that I would need a new pair soon so decide I might as well get a pair to put away for later.  We were shopping at the end of a long day, at the end of a long week and my feet were tired.  Therefore I bought the shoes that provided the most comfort and relief. They just happened to be neon yellow and green.  I put my lemon-lime Saucony running shoes in the closet and told myself that after my 10 K road race in March, I would get them out.  So the other day having completed the 10 K, I decided to take them for a spin. Okay so in-spite of being taught to look ahead as I run, I couldn't help but look down at my glowing kicks. It really is kind of fun to watch your feet sparkle underneath you. That's when I finally understood why kids like light up shoes.  So next time a child comes into class with his new sparkling kicks, I hope to roll my eyes less and rejoice with them more because now I get it!

Avalanche

Last week I was telling a friend about the recent family events as well as other challenges that I am currently dealing with.  She sighed and said "Wow, you have had an avalanche." That was such a helpful comment.  It has given me a visual of what I am currently feeling. And visuals help me process.  

I felt like I was overacting by some of the emotions I was experiencing and the paralysis to be able to take action.  However when I see it as an avalanche, it makes sense.  I have never been buried under physical rubble before but from what I have heard, it really is hard to move when one is buried under debris.  It can be hard to breath.  And usually one can not get themselves out from under it by one's self.  

The other day I wrote out a list of all the debris that I felt like I was burred under and laid it before God.  I told him I couldn't get out and I needed him to do something.  As the day went on, I experienced the removal of some of the burden.  But mostly I experienced a sense of peace as I continued to lay underneath it all. Today I woke up and I realized I was still buried under the rubble.  Breathing was hard again and the magnitude of what I feel like I need to do get out from under was again very heavy.  So first of all I was kind of mad.  Had I not asked for help?  

I saw a movie once about men buried under the World Trade Center rubble.  They were there a long time and the process of being uncovered was not quick.  Once they were discovered there was still a process of waiting as pieces were carefully removed and they were dug out.  What they had though was hope.  Hope that came from knowing that they were not alone and there were people working on their behalf. 

I know that I am not alone.  I know that though I feel either helpless or paralysis in dealing with some of my concerns, God sees and is at work.  So what is my responsibility?  I am not totally sure.  I guess resting in trust of God would be a place to start.  Perhaps I am to daily let him know what is weighing me down and give him the responsibility of getting me out. Yet also I could ask him what I am to do today.  Maybe I am to take those small steps without beating myself up that I did not burst through the rubble and rise to the top all at one go.  I am pretty sure that I need to trust God's love for me and continually watch to see what he is doing in the midst of it. I know in my head that he is using the "avalanche" for my good.  I'd like to focus on seeing that.  I am a doer by nature.  Being unable to get myself out is not comfortable.  But once again perhaps that is exactly where I need to be. I have a tendency to forget that grace is the foundation of my relationship with Jesus and his Father. In all my activity and "good deeds" deep down I get that idea that somehow it is the result of "me."  Nothing like an "avalanche" to remind one of her total dependency upon Jesus for everything that is truly good.