Break over - back to lamenting

Peter has been out of the hospital (stay  #3 in the past 6 weeks) for one week. Once again he was sent home with meds and a Psychiatry appointment (next week) but no plan for longer term therapeutic help.  He returned to his apartment.  His mood has been up and down with some extremes. He continues to have a fair amount of delusion about who he is and his abilities.  He has told people he is a lawyer, believing it. I have been with him a couple of times with good conversation and then another time he proceeded to verbally attack me and there was no option for any reasonable conversation. One night he called and rambled for an hour and a half about a lot of things that weren't based on real facts.

I continue to wrestle with getting him follow up help.  Insurance seems to be a problem as well as the availability of resources in our area. Peter needs to be out of his apartment this Friday.  He does not currently have a place to go.  He doesn't have a job to qualify to rent a place nor do I have resources to commit to a one  year lease for him. On one hand he is an adult and this is NOT my responsivity but on the other he has a medical illness that he didn't ask for and it is greatly impairing his ability to function well. I am trying to advocate for him but feel like I am struggling to do it well.

We do see his doctor this Tuesday. 

These are things I continue to lament over with the Lord

• Do I cancel his insurance making him uninsured? This could open up help from our local mental health day facility but there are other risk in leaving him uninsured.
• Where is he to sleep come Friday night?
• Is there a residential program somewhere that he could qualify for and for which I could find funding ?
• My resources of time, energy (and money) are limited - who of all the suggestions made and thoughts in my head, do I need to make a priority to contact?
• There are those friends offering to help - what specifically do I ask for and of whom?
• How do I communicate and interact with Peter that is the most helpful to both of us?

These are things for which I am grateful for

• Church friends who have reached out with kind words and prayers
• The friend making phone calls and doing research on my behalf.
• The resource of SOAR that maybe able to help with the process of trying to qualify Peter for disability benefits.
• The NAMI Family to Family class I have been meeting with on Zoom for the past 7 weeks.  We have1 more class to go.  They let me vent and cry today with the "we get it" looks on their faces.
• My job that balances out the angst of Peter's difficult situation.
• That currently my last interaction with Peter was a more positive one than the day before.
• My mom and friends
• A Shepherd's look at the 23rd Psalm by Phillip Keller and the bible study at my church that I am attending which revolves around it.
• The knowledge that the Lord IS MY Shepherd.  I shall NOT want and he will LEAD me.