A picture a Day

So far Peter's communication has basically been through a picture a day.  It started with a picture from the bus journey on day one.

On day two, there was a view from his hotel room

And  upon my request of a picture for today I received this.

                                  

I am grateful for the photo a day report.  

I want to express my gratitude for your prayers and kind words.  It really has meant so much and has given me a lot of peace.  I also appreciate the offers to talk as well as the freedom not to.  I confess it isn't something I want or need to verbalize at this point.  

To be raw and honest, Peter's absence is a bit of a relief.  I am greatly concerned for his well being.  But I am not feeling responsible (because currently there is absolutely nothing I can do.)  And that for me is a big relief.  Responsibility is my Achilles heel.  I am very good at being responsible.  But sometimes it is to the point of being responsible for things that aren't mine to take on.   I feel a sense of responsibility to Peter all the time because he lives in my house.  I am always wondering what I should do to help him.  He is an adult but has proven to have some legitimate struggles so my question is constantly , "what do I need to do for him in this situation?"

I don't know that Peter is capable of living on his own  in NY but truthfully I wish he could.  I don't know that Gainesville has ever really felt like "home" for him and can see him possibly doing well there (except perhaps for the cold.) In addition I am presently weary from the journey and think our relationship would benefit from some distance.  I anticipate when he runs out of money in NY (few days from now) he will head home looking for help and I will once again  seek to figure out what my responsibility to and for him is.  I told you this was raw.  Meanwhile  I am tired - from the 20 year journey , the unknown of what's going on with him today and yes not going to bed early enough.  So thank you for understanding why I haven't called or texted back.

Currently my biggest problem is my kitchen.  I have spent the past few nights sitting on the couch instead of cleaning up the kitchen.  I am down to the last spoon and Peter isn't even here to blame it on!  So I must go deal with it.  I will continue to share updates here and PLEASE  know that I appreciate your prayers and concern for Peter more than I will EVER be able to express.