So I never came home from the hospital with a newborn. But last night I couldn't help but wonder if I now had a better idea of what that might feel like. After a day at the hospital, the staff sent me home with my son whose leg was all bandaged up and useless, an electric ice pack contraption and a list of instructions saying "good luck." And I had this glazed over look in my eye with this great sense of " I am not sure I can do this - what if I mess up?!"
Currently we are 12 hours in and we seem to be surviving thus far. I am keeping the ice contraption running, Peter is able to get around a bit with the crutches and I have yet to miss a dose of the ever important pain meds. Peter is asleep at the moment so not sure exactly what will occur when he wakes. Can I just say Peter and I are not particularly touchy feely. He does not like being hugged and whether for right or wrong I do not push the issue. And though I interact with him daily, it wasn't until I tried to help my woosy, hobbling "baby boy" into the house that I realized just how tall and muscular he was. It actually was a bit comical.
So for those of you who like details, here is a brief summary. We went to the hospital at noon yesterday for a surgery scheduled at 2:07. Peter didn't head to OR until about 2:20 and I think it was closer to 3 before I was notified that they had started. I saw the doctor around 4:30. He said that the meniscus was not torn but he had definitely blown out the ACL and they successfully repaired it. The fact that the Meniscus was not torn will hopeful make recovery a little easier. I saw Peter around 6. He was pretty miserable but wanted to make sure we were still going to pick up Chinese on the way home. It had been a long time since he had eaten. His blood pressure was a bit high so we had to wait a little longer to be released. By 7:30 we were on our way home.
I confess I was in denial because I kept talking like I would be back at work today (Thursday.) That is until I saw him, the ice contraption (needed for the next 48 hours) and the list of instructions. So I am home today and we will see about tomorrow. Peter is not a talker and certainly doesn't express his feelings. However I could tell he was a bit anxious prior to surgery. I am so proud of him though. He handled the needles (he hates needles) and being told what to do by the hospital staff pretty well(he doesn't handle being told what to do very well either.) The revealing moment was when I secretly attempted to take his picture in the hospital bed to send to mom, he caught me and made sure that didn't happen. He said "I don't want anyone to see me weak." I found that statement revealing. So as he was trying to get in the house he said "mom I am so weak" and I knew that was big for him to admit it. Peter's weakness is going to be pretty evident as he goes to school and rehab etc. My prayer is God will use this in his life.
So as a consolation gift I ordered Cable TV so he can watch football at home. I am always trying to save money and our brains from too much technology input so we tend to have limited "viewing" options. But due to Peter's love for football, his lame leg, and well for my own selfish reasons we are bringing in Cable at least for football season. So at least we have the Cable TV installation to look forward to today.
Thanks for your many prayers and your interest in us and our journey.
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