One of the things that has been so valuable to us about Larry's death is that he was able to die at "home". Just a week ago today Larry was still in the hospital. He returned to the nursing home where he has lived for just a little over a year. We really had no idea that he was returning there to die. I know mom said that when Larry got back to the nursing home last week that he was saying he wanted to go home to their house. Maybe he knew it was time.
Yet in God's grace he allowed him to be at the nursing home. If home is where you are surrounded by people who genuinely care about you, I feel like Larry really was at home in that place. I often had the impression that Larry was well thought of by staff and residents however I was overwhelmed by the love and care that he received in his last days. Two of mom and Larry's favorite nurses were on duty with him during the last 48 hours. Interesting that he died just shortly after the last shift change with the second dear nurse. Stephanie and Lisa were constantly in the room checking on him and working to make him comfortable. Larry has had a nurse practitioner oversee his care for the last six months or so. Robin is the one who walked with us during those last couple of days instead of our calling hospice. How sweet to have someone with us who knew and loved Larry. In addition to the staff assigned to Larry on Sunday, numerous staff members including those working on other wings and even one who wasn't on duty came by to see Larry. Several of Larry's fellow residents were at his door Sunday morning wanting to see him. There was this parade of people from the nursing home who came through to say their goodbyes and comfort my family. Larry was not conscience for the last 24 hours of his life but "they" say that he knew. I don't know if that is true but I do know that the love and care shown him means more to me and my mom than words will allow.
In many ways Larry was isolated because of his physical disabilities. Yet in this past year Larry's social network increased largely because of living at the nursing home. He was accepted and enjoyed by many. Larry was known for being a kidder. Often as we would pass in the halls, someone would look at him with a twinkle in their eye and call him "trouble." I had a sense of Larry's acceptance as I made my weekly visits, however I was overwhelmed by the confirmation of it as I watched so many come to see him and leave with tears in their eyes.
I think one of our deepest needs is to be loved. One of my deep needs is see my family loved and embraced by others. In Larry's last days I saw that Larry was loved and accepted by the folks at the nursing home. Larry died "at home" with people who cared about him and that brings me great joy.
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