Exhaling

Did you hear it?  Did you hear that big release of air?  I have been holding my breath for months now. The past few weeks it has been intense.  I was beginning to feel giddy with anticipation of letting it out.  And growing faint from the lack of oxygen to my brain.  And then today, I took Peter to begin Riverside Military Academy and I was able to release my breath. And I am exhausted!

Peter held fast to claims of not going right up to yesterday.  He even went to practice with his former high school today.  However there was a point yesterday when the mantra stopped.  He wasn't happy but he seemed resigned to what would happen.  It began with a visit to the dentist.  We returned to the dentist he saw 5 years ago, a Nigerian woman. (She sent him to children's dentistry and they recently "released" him) Dr. Deborah didn't talk to either one of us about the state of his teeth but she was obviously concerned about the state of his heart and attitude.  She sent me out at one point to have a heart to heart with him. When he went to the car she hugged me and said she wanted to see him in six months so she could check on him.  I said "check his teeth? And her response was basically "well and that too."  She is genuinely concerned about Peter.  I had been asking God to send someone to speak to Peter encouraging him about this opportunity. I never guessed it would be the dentist we had not seen in five years.   Next we made a visit to Riverside Military Academy. When he didn't go in to the admissions office with me, the admissions officer went out to him and invited him to get out of the car and see the school. Peter agreed.  During that visit Peter met coaches and other staff that challenged and encouraged him.  I will never say that Peter agreed or wanted to go to RMA.  But I can gratefully say that he got in and out of the car today of his own accord. 

My emotions have been mixed today with relief, elation, empathy and twinges of guilt. (I moved schools between 8th and 9th grade. We moved states away in fact and I remember it was gut wrenching. I know this has to be hard for Peter.) Now that I have exhaled on getting him there I find there is a bit of me wanting to hold my breath for what happens next. Will I get a call to come get him?  Will I know the right balance for participation and giving space? (We live two miles away.  I told Peter I could jog down in the morning to check on him.  He told me no. ) Although I know better I am already thinking about where the money will come from for next year. In spite of the mix of emotions, I can honestly say that I have seen the hand of God pull this off.  I feel confident that this is the place Peter needs for now to receive training for growth into a man. I am confident God has done this and will continue to "do" this. Thank you for caring about, praying for and contributing to the cause.  Your love and support has meant more than you will know.