God sets the lonely in family Ps 68:6

So I am not lonely nor did I grow up lonely.  I grew up feeling very loved and wanted. However I did grow up in a small family with extended relatives physically far away and thus not knowing them very intimately.  My immediate family never extended very far as neither my brother nor I married.  Peter has been a gift in extending our family by his adoption yet he is a bit solitary in his life currently as well.  At this point my immediate family consist of Mom, Peter and me. My estate lawyer says in his business, I am at the advantage to not haves siblings to squabble with.  However when I compare myself to those Holiday commercials or friends with big family gatherings I have always felt a bit "lonely."

Thus, this verse in Psalms 68 has  been one of my favorites for a long time.  It says: "But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God:  may they be happy and joyful. Sing to God, sing in praise of his name. extol him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before him - his name is the Lord. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing." Psalm 68: 3-6a

I have seen God set me in families in so many ways such to give me the big extended family I often have longed for.  I could list several different ways but at this time I want to share one specific.  When I graduated from college I went to work at Camp Willow Run not knowing what I would do when summer ended.  I quickly connect with some of the full time staff and in a fun turn of events was invited to stay and work through the winter, temporarily.  That temporary job ended up lasting 7 years to the day of my arrival.  I was a single twenty-something living in a train box car on the lake far from my parent's home.  And there God put me in a family.  I was part of the Camp Willow Run full time staff family.  And within that group I also became parts of individual families, the Harris Family, the Moore Family, the Crawley Family, and the Adam's Family.  Thirty years later these families remain an important part of my life.

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to be with part of this extended family at Camp Willow Run and neighboring Camp Willow Springs. The above picture show the two couples who I always say "raised me" in my twenties. On the left is Beth and Keith Moore who was the Camp Director at the time and Kevin and May Adams who was the Assistant Camp Director and still work at CWR.  The picture is missing another lady who highly influenced my life during this time, Marysue Crawley.  Marysue was the Food Service Director I worked along side and suggested to Keith I stay on beyond the summer.  Marysue  died 10 years ago and left a empty spot in our family. 

I have maintained particularly close relationship with the Adam's family over the years. The babies (4 of them) who I helped raise are now married raising their own babies.  I have had the privilege of helping to coordinate the wedding of all three daughters and helping with the rehearsal dinner for the son.  Now I am holding their babies and playing with their little children. This past trip all the whole family was gathered as we married off the last child.  And it wasn't just the last child, it was my goddaughter and namesake with whom I share a middle name.  Pretty big stuff.  

I could go on and on about the details of the wedding and how we went from a raining rehearsal day to a beautiful wedding day.  Instead I will just share a few favorite pictures.  It was a beautiful day.  The setting and décor was gorgeous.  But the best part for me is these people, my family.  It was being with people who have claimed me as one of there own when they didn't have too.  And not just the Adam's family but other families intertwining with theirs that I have been made a part of.   Sometimes it did feel like a Hallmark  Holiday Commercial and I got to be part of it!

Living close to Anna allowed me the fun adventure of traveling to wedding with these two cuties.

We were very excited to see May May!!!

Patrick was my 25th birthday present and I am beyond impressed with this man!

Camp Willow Spring Dining Hall for the reception.

Wedding at neighboring Camp Willow Springs Outdoor Chapel

Kelsey and her boys

Anna with the littlest wedding party member.

Haley Kay and her dad.

The kitchen where I was first adopted into the Camp Willow Run family.

The big family send off breakfast in CWR Dining Hall.

Some of my babies' babies (4 of the 6) that I think are fantastic!!

Loading up the cars, laughter and tears, very "Hallmark - ish"

The List

So tonight I am sending the prayer list I didn't include last time.  There won't be a lot of elaboration due to the call of the dishes and a shower.  But then you know me, its hard for me NOT to elaborate.

1. Peter needs a job.  Preferable one not too far from home.

2. Peter needs a therapist.  We meet with one possibility October 14.  I have also reached out to a local counseling center through the college down the street from our house based on the recommendation of someone I liked but couldn't afford. 

3.  Peter was willing to address one personal issue a couple weeks ago with a therapist or group.  He needs to still be willing by the time we get someone lined up.

4. Peter's birthday is tomorrow and I hope our birthday dinner  tomorrow night will be pleasant.

5. I need to know how to handle things when Peter runs out of money and/or can't pay me the money for his phone bill due in a week and a half.

6. That Peter won't disturb my bible study this coming Monday evening as I have 4 really cute 20 something girls coming to my home.  Preferably he will have a job or sleep through it.

7. For this bible study God has been prompting me to start for 2 years and he amazingly had these girls organize when I was finally was willing to simply suggest it.

8. I have been offered an opportunity at some part time work.  It is something I am excited about doing but requires some classes. I am not a great student.  Because it will be self employment it will also require some financial help.  I think I may need an accountant.  I will share more at another time, like if and when it really happens but for now no it's not a Pyramid scheme nor Color Street Nails.

9. I am headed to NC do direct my Goddaughter's wedding next weekend.  There is talk of a hurricane.  Two years ago I drove through a hurricane to help with her brother's rehearsal dinner.  I would prefer not to do that again. 

10.  For Peter to take his meds and be safe especially while I am away.

Okay that is more than enough.  If led, you can pick and choose one or more.  I am grateful and encouraged.  Thank you.

Peter

 So this one comes from the mama heart.  This is to ask  you to pray.

As told in a blog a couple of weeks past, Peter was in a car wreck that totaled his car.  It was not his fault and the driver's insurance is paying out a more than fair settlement.  Peter was provided two weeks of a rental car as well.  So I have been very hands off except for helping with a couple of paper work items.  Peter received the money yesterday and has bought a car as of today.  He is to go pick it up tomorrow.  He is doing this all on his own with the help of Lyft.  

Sunday night Peter came in from work and told me he didn't work at Texas Roadhouse anymore, that he had quit.  He said they treated him like a servant and it just wasn't his scene anymore. He is looking to go into retail.  He didn't say it but my guess is that is until he goes into modeling.  The numerous hats and sunglasses left in front of the mirrors indicate he is still preparing.

Peter says he plans to pick up the car tomorrow and drive it home then let it sit here until he gets a job and then put insurance on it.  . . . . right my red flag meter starts having a fit. Remember that time he was in a wreck 30 minutes after picking up his new car.  Add that to all the other red flags all ready in motion.  

Peter is unemployed.  And he thinks he is beneath many jobs.  He also struggles with filling out applications etc.

I do not know the status of the law suit with the car accident earlier in the year.  Peter says he doesn't know and I am choosing not to get involved.

Peter and I have some conflicts with our rooming situation. Basically I have a squatter living in my house with bad hygiene and often inconsiderate of my request.  

Peter stopped seeing his therapist several months ago.  I wrote a letter to his psychiatrist today to give her some background before Peter's medication check up via the computer this coming Tuesday. Those appointments are usually a fly by.  I hope she will take time to read the letter and consider my concerns for Peter's well being.

Peter is not having psychotic episodes but I do think there is a fare amount of delusional thinking about who he is and what is owed him. He lives in a virtual world with no to few physical real friends.  He does most things alone or is in his room.

We did meet with the Naturopath this past week.  Peters brain inflammation has shown improvement and it was encouraging.  Peter will continue on the supplements for the time being as long as I can afford it.  If nothing else Ricardo is an encouragement to me and allowed me a safe space to talk about my concerns in front of Peter.  

The big thing for me is knowing what I am to do as an advocate verses what is being an enabler.  When am I showing kindness and when am I trying to control things or do something that is not my place.  In the midst of this very paragraph, Peter called.  His debit card was declined (due to todays car buying activity) and he couldn't leave the restaurant he had walked to until he paid.  I was able so went and helped him.  The win for me was he had an alcoholic drink with dinner and he was chatty.  I think in that case I did the right thing,.  But I am constantly facing that decision - am I showing love and mercy or enabling and preventing God from using the suffering for Peter's good.

I have watch Peter suffer and experience many hardships his whole life.  I don't want to watch more.  And yet as my wise friend recently reminded me, "God uses hard times to bring us to the end of ourselves."  She also said "you don't do a kid a favor if you protect them from their mistakes."

Okay so I will not conclude with a list of prayer request.  I have provided my thoughts and heart.  I will trust God to lead you to pray for Peter and his mom based on these.  

Thanks for listening, caring and praying.

Hot Flashes

In my mid twenties I was in a BSF group led by a woman in her 50's.  It's the first time I can remember hearing a woman talk about hot flashes.  I think she was experiencing one during one of our fellowships.  My thought at the time was that she was being a little over dramatic.  Whats the big deal I thought?  So you get hot.  We all get hot, you know like out in the sun while working in the yard, hanging out at the pool, in a hot kitchen, etc.  I don't have contact wither her, don't even remember her name but to her and any other woman I labeled as wimpy and over dramatic about menopausal hot flashes, my deepest and sincerest apologies. I totally misunderstood.

I thought a hot flash was just being hot.  I did not know it was really about an internal thermostat malfunction.  Being hot is one thing but all of the sudden having the thermostat flung to 98 degrees by the hormone fairy is something else.  But even that doesn't explain it.  Its the fact that just about the time you figure out how to deal with it by stripping off layers of clothing and sitting in front of a fan, another hormone fairy comes along and drops the thermostat to 48.  Now you are barely dressed and hovering in front of a fan when it feels like a Northeastern is blowing in.  You scramble to find a sweater, hat, socks, blanket and a hot cup of tea when fairy number one comes back and kicks the thermostat up to 98 again.  So you are back to removing layers, looking for a fan, a cold slushy drink etc, etc. 

So it's not about "being hot," per say, its about the weariness of being in the middle of the hormone fairies thermostat war.  It's the exhaustion of keeping up with the constant change of body temperature and never knowing when it's going to happen.  It interrupts sleep, work and leisure, screaming for attention. It's not painful but like a mosquito buzzing in your ear, it's just so 'drive you crazy'  annoying.  And someday those young twenty somethings I work with are going to understand that I am not being over dramatic either!

For those who wondered . . . .

Why did Linda fly across the country to Washington State in the midst of a Pandemic?

• because I was invited by people I love to be with and I knew I'd be encouraged by laughter and truth. I was not disappointed.  Things I hadn't counted on but was delighted by included a fascinating, in depth biblical and scientific discussion on Noah's Ark with Ron; the pampering of a pedicure and a hair cut; fabulous food and new recipes; stories of faith that encourage and propel me forward; even more laughter than I anticipated; and the best blueberry lemon Creme Brulee ever!

How was the travel?

• Pretty easy.  I like pandemic travel as the airports are less crowded and there is more room on the airplanes.  I even had a whole row to myself to stretch out and sleep on the long Seattle to Atlanta flight home. And things were very clean.  

How did Mama Millie and Penelope (my cat) fare?

• As I expected they enjoyed each other.  Mama Millie seemed to enjoy Penelope's antics and companionship as well as Penelope loved the great views of birds, butterflies and squirrels from Mama Millie's windows. Penelope only escaped twice providing for great stories considering Mama Millie was able to recover her!

How did Peter do in my absence?

• He took his medicine.  He was faithful to attend work even when a car wreck Thursday night left him car-less.  His car was totaled when a car pulled out in front of him.  He has been dealing with insurance the past couple of days and has a rental car as of tonight.  Its a black pick up which is quite a switch from his white sedan. Makes me grin. I am working hard to not get involved and let him handle this.  As always there are many reasons to be apprehensive.  Peter and cars have been a thorn in my fragile nerves! So as you think of us you can pray for him regarding driving a rental, the settlement with the insurance, his settling debt with his grandma, and his future plans for transportation.  Although it was stressful to receive his call while I was far away, I am so grateful he was not hurt and that the distance forced me to let him handle it without trying to rescue him.  With that, pray for me to let him deal with it without interfering or enabling. 

Am I glad I went?

• Absolutely yes! It was so fun to rest, be refreshed and LAUGH!!   I was challenged spiritually in a way that I hopefully have come home with renewed purpose.  I am so grateful for Ron and Sue, their influence in my life and the joy they bring me by their friendship. 
• And don't fear, I will let you know if I get Covid-19 and question whether I should have gone!

Random Snippets

No I didn't get fall out of my hammock and knock myself unconscious.  In fact not sure I have been in the hammock since I shared my story.  I am not really sure what I have been doing.  Convincing myself I don't have Covid takes up a good bit of my time.  The sinus issues have continued and making sure it isn't THE VIRUS, figuring out what is causing it and how to deal with it keeps me distracted.  I am working with my naturopath and have a serious supplement regime at the moment along with using a nasal wash and trying to clean up my diet.  Symptoms are better at the moment.  I have written many blog post in my mind but they seem to take more energy to write down than to chase around in my head.  I decided today to just throw out a few snippets  of life with no real theme or cohesion.

THREE YEAR OLDS - I have the privilege to teach 3's.  I love their energy, passion and persistence.  Tomorrow begins week 6 with this year's crop of cuties.  There are many stories I could tell already.  Here is one that's just cute.  I was eating a dark purple plum I brought from home during lunch.  One little boy asked what it was.  I said it was a plum.  I think I answered that question a couple of times.  But evidently one child wasn't listening because after I took a bite revealing its pale flesh, he shouted out "Hey Ms. Linda has a chocolate peach."  

MOM - She seems to be doing really well.  She is busy with daily life, her birds and flowers in the backyard, word puzzles, books and most recently her 30 boxes of photo albums.  We have recently been working on a project that moved her 30 boxes of photo albums, school annuals and scrapbooks out of storage.  She has spent a lot of time sifting through these treasures. She is waiting on one more shelving unit to arrive as well as for me to condense some albums before it can be called done.  This week mom is going to babysit her grand-cat Penelope for a few days.   I am so grateful for Mom's restored health.

PETER - Honestly your guess is as good as mine.  Although we share a house, he stays in his room most of the time he is here and works all weekend when I am home.  I have concerns for his mental and emotional well being but other than praying at the moment, am kind of limited in being able to address it.  However I am grateful he seems to be managing his medication, car and job.  As alluded to above, I will be gone for 5 days this week so appreciate prayers for Peter, especially regarding consistency with his taking his medication while I am gone.

THE ALLUDED TO TRIP - As I have mentioned I am going out of town.  This is where some of you might smile while others will gasp in horror.  I am getting on an airplane Wednesday and flying across the country to Washington State to visit friends.  Considering the Pandemic, it may not be the most reasonable thing to do.  However as I have reminded others, in spite of my worrying, timid, cautious tendencies, I have not always made what many would call the most reasonable decisions.  Lets see there was that time I left good people and a enjoyable job to go live on an Ostrich Farm in Texas.  Then I moved to Africa on Christmas Eve with a mere 9 boxes of possessions.  And there is that time where as a single woman I adopted a 4 year old boy. Get the point? Sometimes you have to risk reason.  There is no specific event but a long standing invite and a desire to "retreat" with a friend who refreshes my soul.  So if you aren't horrified by my choice, I do appreciate prayers for my health and safety this coming week.

PETE THE CAT - He spends most of his time at school watching out for the three year olds.  However occasionally he gets board.  When he said Mask On!  (you know like Game On) while showing off his mask, our friend Helen's mind went to the famous line from the movie Karate Kid. Instead of Wax On, Wax Off, she told Pete "Mask On, Mask Off."  You know Pete, that's all the challenge he needed.  Next thing you know he has created his own meme of sorts.

Until Next time, Mask on!!

Hanging in There

Last time you heard from me I was in crisis.  That is the way it tends to go, I usually squawk when pinched!  However since given the clear that I was COVID negative, I have been busy wrapping up summer program and starting my new school year. At this moment things feel stable-ish and I am hanging in there, literally.  Meet my new happy place!

So to make a short story long, I have been enthralled with hammocks for a long time.  As a kid, we had one of those big wide flat ones you put on a frame when we went camping.  In later years my friend Tammy and I spotted someone in a purple hammock on the square in the middle of my town.  Ever since, we have been on the look out for a hammock in the trees or other unexpected places.  I even bought a blanket style woven one a few years ago however without easy straps, it was never used and eventually found its way in a yard sale.  Then a couple of months ago when social distancing at the lake with my friend Melissa, she suggested I take a nap in her hammock.  After that I was on a mission to get a hammock even knowing I would rarely use it because I didn't know where I would put it. So when a family at school gave me a thank you gift of a $30 Target gift card I knew what I wanted to do with it.  A few weeks ago I made a special trip to Target to purchase the  hammock.  Again I wondered if it would be one of those things I bought and never used.  Just a few days later, my mom and I were invited to a cabin on the lake and said hammock was tossed into the car.  While contemplating trees at the lake, Melissa pointed out that I could hang it on the porch railings of the Octagon shaped cabin.  Thus mom and I gave the hammock its inaugural swinging.  I spent 4 hours that afternoon in that hammock.  I was hooked!

I came home and was determined to find a spot for my hammock in my yard so I could use it often.  After circling the yard several times I came up with a spot on the side of my house.  I mowed a path through the Ivy to the trees so I could  hang the straps without fear of stepping on a snake.  Couple of days latter I mowed a bigger patch to make it easier to get in and out of the hammock.  My next plan is to put pots of bug repelling plants in what I now call the Hammock Garden. 

It is amazing what some lightweight canvas, hung by webbing between two trees can do for one's soul.  Hard to explain the peace and happy that swinging in my hammock brings.  I love to look at the trees.  Today though while talking with my friend Christine, I was distracted by some dead branches such that as soon as I got off the phone, I pulled out my tree shears and trimmed them.  Now it is much more peaceful staring up into the trees.

I have made this space my new "office."  I had three meaningful conversations with friends on the phone in this spot this week.  And sometimes I just like to swing and "be still and know God."  Okay so that doesn't usually last too long as being still and doing nothing doesn't come easy.  However I recall a book on prayer that I read last year about a guy whose prayer spot was a hammock.  He talked about what a sacred space it was.  I totally get it.  Currently I am reading (via an audio book) Chasing Francis by Ian Morgan Cron and in paper back Holy Noticing by Charles Stone.  Both of them in very different ways address the idea of God meeting us in the quiet, awareness, creation, and creativity.  Sometimes I have to fight the thoughts that hanging in my hammock is frivolous, lazy, selfish, etc.  But lets just say I am working on it.  And it seems to be getting easier and easier.  

I am so grateful for all my outdoor spaces.  For more than 12 years God has provided this great little  house with a fabulous yard.  There are 4 plastic Adirondack chairs, a porch rocker and swing and now a hammock.  Lots of space to meet God in his beauty and creation.  So if you are in the neighborhood, come on over and we can hang out and "be still and know God" together!