So this one comes from the mama heart. This is to ask you to pray.
As told in a blog a couple of weeks past, Peter was in a car wreck that totaled his car. It was not his fault and the driver's insurance is paying out a more than fair settlement. Peter was provided two weeks of a rental car as well. So I have been very hands off except for helping with a couple of paper work items. Peter received the money yesterday and has bought a car as of today. He is to go pick it up tomorrow. He is doing this all on his own with the help of Lyft.
Sunday night Peter came in from work and told me he didn't work at Texas Roadhouse anymore, that he had quit. He said they treated him like a servant and it just wasn't his scene anymore. He is looking to go into retail. He didn't say it but my guess is that is until he goes into modeling. The numerous hats and sunglasses left in front of the mirrors indicate he is still preparing.
Peter says he plans to pick up the car tomorrow and drive it home then let it sit here until he gets a job and then put insurance on it. . . . . right my red flag meter starts having a fit. Remember that time he was in a wreck 30 minutes after picking up his new car. Add that to all the other red flags all ready in motion.
Peter is unemployed. And he thinks he is beneath many jobs. He also struggles with filling out applications etc.
I do not know the status of the law suit with the car accident earlier in the year. Peter says he doesn't know and I am choosing not to get involved.
Peter and I have some conflicts with our rooming situation. Basically I have a squatter living in my house with bad hygiene and often inconsiderate of my request.
Peter stopped seeing his therapist several months ago. I wrote a letter to his psychiatrist today to give her some background before Peter's medication check up via the computer this coming Tuesday. Those appointments are usually a fly by. I hope she will take time to read the letter and consider my concerns for Peter's well being.
Peter is not having psychotic episodes but I do think there is a fare amount of delusional thinking about who he is and what is owed him. He lives in a virtual world with no to few physical real friends. He does most things alone or is in his room.
We did meet with the Naturopath this past week. Peters brain inflammation has shown improvement and it was encouraging. Peter will continue on the supplements for the time being as long as I can afford it. If nothing else Ricardo is an encouragement to me and allowed me a safe space to talk about my concerns in front of Peter.
The big thing for me is knowing what I am to do as an advocate verses what is being an enabler. When am I showing kindness and when am I trying to control things or do something that is not my place. In the midst of this very paragraph, Peter called. His debit card was declined (due to todays car buying activity) and he couldn't leave the restaurant he had walked to until he paid. I was able so went and helped him. The win for me was he had an alcoholic drink with dinner and he was chatty. I think in that case I did the right thing,. But I am constantly facing that decision - am I showing love and mercy or enabling and preventing God from using the suffering for Peter's good.
I have watch Peter suffer and experience many hardships his whole life. I don't want to watch more. And yet as my wise friend recently reminded me, "God uses hard times to bring us to the end of ourselves." She also said "you don't do a kid a favor if you protect them from their mistakes."
Okay so I will not conclude with a list of prayer request. I have provided my thoughts and heart. I will trust God to lead you to pray for Peter and his mom based on these.
Thanks for listening, caring and praying.
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