Remembering Larry

Following is the Eulogy I wrote and read at Larry's graveside service this past May.

Larry Plants  was an eclectic soul.  He was timeless.  At  50 years old Larry could relate to the fancy's of a child, a young adult and even an old man.  This was seen in his activities and interest.  He took great interest in the preschool children his sister taught and the antics of his teenage nephew.  He teased the adults he encountered and was comfortable with "old folks."  Larry's DVD collection reflected this eclectic interest as it included Disney movies, the One Tree Hill collection, many John Wayne movies as well as old Red Skeleton shows.  His music collection included Neil Diamond, Selena Gomez, Reba Macintyre, and the random Harp & Flute CD.  Larry collected many things including baseball cards, rocks, marbles, playing cards, and match box cars.  He was interested in civil war history, drawing, hockey, and any sport that had girls playing. Larry's interest were big and wide much like his heart.

Larry had a very tender heart.  He was compassionate, giving considerate, and sentimental.  Larry cared about people and what they were interested in or might need.  Larry was generous, giving to others.  He was thrifty hating to break a ten dollar bill when purchasing his own snacks but quick to share for the sake of another.  Larry made decisions based on what he thought another person might want.  Larry's family was very important to him.  His phrase "let's do it as a family" was frequent in his conversations.  Larry was very sentimental about his friends and family loving to share stories of the past and making new memories with them.

Larry's answers often road the fence.  His answer to how was your day was typically "good and bad."  He answered many questions with "yes and no."  And he more often followed up what he was thinking with "in my opinion." Though he was non committal in many such answers, Larry had a strong sense of right and wrong.  Larry was a person of integrity.

Recently a grade school friend shared that he remembered Larry having a strong character even at a young age.  Eddy wrote
"Larry is one of those guys with great heart and character of a man. It was easy to see even as a child. What stands out to me most was Larry’s strong sense of integrity and loyalty to his family, that made a big impression on me. He was the first person I knew who took personal integrity seriously ..who relied far more on the internal compass rather than what people thought. He had a great heart and I remember his great character."

Larry faced many challenges during his 50 years.  Over the years the count of surgeries, stitches and broken bones that he endure has been lost but they were numerous.  He spent more days at the doctor's office and hospital in his lifetime than he probably did at school.  Larry did not get to participate in most of the milestones of his peers. There were times he expressed his sorrow over this.  Yet for the most part Larry patiently took life in stride.  He rolled with the punches and found delights in the simple things.

Larry was not a "contributor" to the world in the way we often think of productive people.  There was much he could not do.  There was much that he needed people to do for him.  Yet Larry gave so much in simply being.  He was a great listener, listening with big smiles to our stories.  He loved to laugh, often making jokes and teasing.  He found delight in simple pleasures. Larry showed great endurance and patience in a fast paced and frantic world. People were important to him.  He cared deeply for his friends and family.  And for this reason we miss Larry and are sad at his passing.

However Larry spent most of his life in a body that was confining. His mobility and speech were slow.  His thought processes often delayed.  He was limited because of his physical body.  Yet from a young age Larry believed and trusted in Jesus with his heart and soul.  And it is because of this truth that we believe Larry is at last free from the limits of his earthly body.  Larry is dancing and singing in the presence of Jesus without confinement or delay. And for this we rejoice. For this we are happy to know that at last he is free. 

Napping Yoga

So when I worked at the Family Life Center (a church gym) on Tuesdays, I watched the women come out of the Restorative Yoga class and I would think, "wow they look relaxed and happy.'   I talked to the instructors, 2 physical therapist and I would think, "wow they sure are nice." And then I would think, "wow I sure wish I could take that class."  But the class was on the night I worked at the gym.  Then when I didn't work at the gym anymore, I got off from my afternoon job too late to attend the class.  This spring someone talked about the class saying how life changing it was - the weekly stretch and time of mental unwinding.  And once again, I was like "I wish I could take that class."  So what joy to discover that they now offered the class at a later time.  But on inquiry I learned the class was full.  Aww Man! Then to my delight, I receive a call a couple of weeks ago saying that there was an opening.  Yay! So last Tuesday I began attending a weekly Restorative Yoga class.  

 

Restorative Yoga  is not your typical yoga class.  I thought it was funny when the instructor said it was nicknamed Napping Yoga.  I didn't get it until I began attending.  So far I have found most of the class takes place while either lying on our backs or in some stretched out forward pose. And sometime the length of a held pose really dose afford one to take a cat nap. I did find my first class to be somewhat challenging.  I was reminded of how uncoordinated I am.  I know that I breath all the time while doing other things but somehow I often find it almost beyond my capacity to coordinate intentional deep breathing with forming the yoga poses as simple as they may be.  I started to have flash backs of 9th grade jump roping or college clogging class where I just couldn't make it all happen at the same time.  Then I would think about that AFLAC commercial where the duck is in the yoga class.  Or I would imagine my friend Helen's comments if she was in class with me and I would start to giggle.  Here we are with this light airy music in the background, lights dim, everyone in their zone and I am struggling not to laugh out loud. 

 

I am a more seasoned member now having two classes under my belt.  My breathing is a little more "yogafied." and I am less giggly.  It really is a great hour of stretching and "being."  I still have to really work on relaxing my mind and thoughts.  They still like to go Spin Class pace.  Yet I am determined to use this hour not only to improve physical health through stretching but also emotional and mental health by relaxing, releasing and being.  And well if I still giggle a little during class, they say laughter is good for one's body, soul and mind.

 

My many gardens

With Labor Day comes the official end of summer.  So I am starting to think about transitioning my outdoor décor into fall.  Before I began to dismantle some of it I decided to take some pictures.  Then I remembered that I said I would show you "my many gardens."  So here is a tour of my yard with its gardens and points of interest.  

Welcome to The Back Porch.

  Back between the house and the shed, follow the red brick path . .

 . . . . and the sign to . . . .

 

. . . . .Play Garden.  It is still a work in progress.  I am still working on getting a chalk board for the easel.  And no, the moss didn't grow.


 

The concept is a "build your own fairy garden."  There are all kinds of building materials and fairies and gnome for friends who wants to come and play.

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The Fairy Retirement Gnome Some of the fairies had broken pieces.  I was able to get them for a "fairly" good price and well even broken fairies need a place to call gnome.

On the other side of the Play Garden is the Fire Pit with Seating that boarders . . .

 

The Gathering Lawn

The Archway to the Front Lawn

The Front Lawn. It is mostly weeds but even weeds look good when mowed.

The mailbox was painted with chalk paint. Since it lost its little red flag, sometimes I just draw it on when I have mail.  Or I leave messages for folks walking by. I forgot to take pictures of the shrubs that I worked so hard to tame. They are just above the mailbox (to the right), the length of the driveway.

The Entrance to the Porch

I got this $40 Gnome for $4 because his shovel was broken.  I just cover up the broken part with a rock.

The Retirement Herb Garden (plus a jalapeno and okra plant.)

 

I once heard that colonialist planted thyme by the back door because they believed that fairies lived on the thyme.  I figure everyone needs fairies that are "on thyme."  This fairy is not.  She is currently out of thyme.  It died.

 

 

This  broken $12 rain gage is now just a $1.20 happy frog embracing an invisible dream.

 

My Aunt Edith made these ceramic frogs, Edie and Reed when I was a kid.  They moved around with my mom and underwent several repainting's.  I inherited them last year and gave them a paint touch up and then put them out to enjoy the sun.

 

The Reading Nook

 

Mosquito net makes it a safe place for evening phone calls or reading.

 

The Eating Porch

This is the picnic table my dad built several years back and I claimed it during last year's move.  The chandelier base is the side of a baby crib that some neighbors left for the trash men.



And this is the Front Door.  Your welcome to come for a visit.



Personal Retreat

So I can blame it on the hermit crab but you and I both know there was much more to it than that.  I had been dreaming of a vacation for months.  My last several trips away from home found me sleeping on a couch.  I kept thinking how I wanted to go away and get my own bed!  And though I have always said that the mountains is my happy place, I have come to find the ocean to be a soothing place frequently calling my name.  I had been wanting to go to the beach for months.  And somehow my hermit crab finally gave me the nudge and the excuse to go.

 

I didn't really feel like I had the money to splurge but felt the call was greater than that concern.  As I began to make plans I thought of several friends who I knew would sacrificially join me.  Yet I realized that I felt the call not only to the beach but to go alone, well except for Hermie of course.  The year has been challenging and I sensed the need for some solitude.

 

So as much for my benefit as yours, I want to briefly share a few nuggets that I gained from my journey.

• Shrimp and Grits can be enjoyed just as well alone as with a friend.
• The more one is alone the more one begins to talk out loud to themselves or to her hermit crab as the case may be.
• The trip I took is one I believe my brother Larry would have enjoyed.  It is the kind I often said he and I should take - to a resort where we could stay put without riding around in the car. I thought of Larry a lot during my trip.  So many things reminded me of him.  It was a nice way to remember him and be grateful for his life.
• Sometimes God's presence is quiet and without demand.  I asked God several times to speak in the quiet of my journey.  I confess perhaps I was looking for some big revelation, transformation, or command.  There was nothing of concrete that I feel like God revealed.  But his presence was real in a hard to explain way.  There was the expected awe of God as I read Psalms  and listened to praise music while sitting on the beach.  Yet I also felt his presence as I dealt with the loneliness that came at times.  I sensed his approving presence as I read a Nicholas Sparks novel while sitting on the beach or knitting a scarf while watching TV.  He made my being alone okay.  It was restful and it was good.
• Upon arriving back home I found I had been sent a check, an unexpected gift that covered my hotel and gas cost.  Once again God provided.

Hermie's Journey

So Hermie, my hermit crab can be persistent. One mention of taking him to the beach and it was nag, nag, nag.  Next thing you know I have a reservation for two nights on the Eastern Coast.  Just to get him off my back of course.

 

Ready to travel!

I found a deal on a room at the Harbor across from Charleston.  We had a room with a view.

 

 

A view to the left.

 

The view below.
 

So having a room with a view can be over rated.   I left Hermie to nap in the room and went out in search of a better view.

 

 

And I found one by sitting on the little resort beach overlooking the marina and the city beyond.

 

 

 

And then I took Hermie to the beach.

 

 

 And we took a Selfie.

oops where is Hermie? ? ? ?

 

 



 Oh there he is.  Hermie has no time for Selfies.  It is time to hit the beach!

 

 

 

 So of course the elephant in the room throughout the trip was, "Is Hermie going home?"  And "where is Home?"  There were conversations.  There was controversy.  There were tears. 

 

Then we packed up and went home.

And on the way home all I heard was talk about a bigger Hermie House, a girl friend and next time going to Hawaii!

 

 

 

Emergency Road Trip

So I am thinking I may need to take an emergency road trip.  To the beach that is. 

 

It isn't for me you see, it is for Hermie my hermit crab.  It all started two years ago when my friend talked me into bringing home two hermit crabs from the beach for my classroom.  Sweet Mama and Crab Daddy were quite the pair for about 6 months until one of them died.  I don't even remember now which one it was.  I felt sorry for that one lonely crab and went to the pet store to buy a new one, Hermie.  Hermie was small and he turned out to be a very slow, timid and unsocial pet.  This past school year the other beach crab died leaving Hermie alone.  When a co-worker brought two new crabs from the beach for our classroom, Hermie permanently moved home with me.  It was for his safety because the new crabs were big.  I mean BIG like I would not handle them and I was afraid he would get eaten.  Hermie has continued to be a quiet pet.  I usually pick him up every few days just to see if he is alive because he is usually in the same spot.  But about three days ago something changed. Hermie has been on the move constantly. He climbs, moves rocks, tears up the water sponge, and appears to be looking for a way out.  I can hear him at all hours of the day moving about in his cage. 

 

So this has stressed me out a bit.  I keep wondering "What is going on?"  I have spare shells in there but he hasn't changed shells.  I keep freshening the water and food.  I cleaned out the cage in case it was stinky. He seems so desperate to get out. Having very high empathy I so want to relieve him of his anxiety.  I keep thinking "I need to set him free."  Thus this has lead me to seriously consider making the 6 hour road trip to the beach for the sole purpose of releasing the hermit crab.  It just seems only right.

 

Tonight I began to wonder if it was mating season and maybe I just need to go to the pet store and buy another crab or two.  It would be cheaper and less time consuming but doesn't sound near as adventurous as driving to the beach to set Hermie free.

Nutshell

So this is for those of you who have been wondering about "post military school dismissal." It can get long as I talk about the path to getting Peter enrolled in public school, my emotions, Peter's responses etc.  So I am going to try to provide a few highlights with enough info to let you know where things are.

 

• The City Schools started here on Wednesday. 
• We began the registration process with the school system on Monday.
• Due to a transcripts glitch and the crazy swamped counselor's office at the high school, Peter was finally signed up for classes today (yes Saturday afternoon) and will start school Monday.
• Peter will be a junior.  The school uses the block system meaning he takes four classes a semester with the potential of earning four full credits each semester.  This may be a beneficial set up for Peter.  Currently he is signed up for 3 academics and one elective (PE's) for each semester this year.  Peter will have his fourth opportunity to get his Algebra I credit.
• The house is currently stripped of TV's and Computer access for Peter.  He does not have a phone because he lost his and did not get a job this summer so he could replace it.  He walks to the library daily to have 2 hours of computer access and has been walking to the FLC to work out and shoot pool.  He has also reread the last 3 years of Sports Illustrated that his grandma has been providing for him. 
• Peter is excited not to be going to the military school.  Perhaps one area this has been most evident is in his planning of his wardrobe.  We made one trip to the school this week in which we anticipated Peter would get his schedule and attend classes.  He had specifically planned out his black and white ensemble.  When we left the school unsuccessful in getting him scheduled for classes he said,  "you mean I wasted a perfectly good outfit."  When I said he could wear it the next day, he said no he couldn't because people (all of 30 in the counselor's office out o 2,000 at the school) had seen him already.  After taking him home and making some enquiries about his transcripts, I left to return to work.  When I went to speak with him I found him trying on outfits and congratulating himself on looking good.
• I have grieved this week.  The grief stems from the loss of the support network that I had been developing at the military school.  It was also the rejection that once again Peter did not want this thing (the military school) that (through God's grace) I was giving him.  The grief will not instantly disappear but it is lessening.
• I am praying for wisdom to parent and guide Peter now that he is home all the time.  I am trying to look to the positives - I do see some.  I am reminding myself to be grateful for the 2 years Peter had at the school and the seeds that had been planted.  I am trying to let go of what was my agenda (Peter graduating from the military school) and trusting God's sovereignty.
• I am grateful for my new job.  It does not have some of the same stresses I was experiencing at the other school.  That is good considering that dealing with Peter on a daily basis can often be tiring. The staff at the school has been extremely understanding as I have come and gone this week in effort to get Peter in school. And the cute cuddly little three year olds I teach help to compensate for Peter's frequent prickles.
• I am grateful for the support of friends and family who have prayed and listened. It is very encouraging and greatly appreciated.