I am going to begin with this. The Bible tells us that worrying has no power to change anything. And yet somewhere in my human DNA, I insist on the pursuit of worry. Even though I am praying and know others are, I for some reason insist on playing the worst-case scenario. Then when that thing that I have given so much energy becomes nothing, I just want to hit the palm of my hand to my head in a "I could have had a V-8" moment. WHY was I so worried!!! Why did I doubt God's provisions?
I know that God doesn't always work things out the way we would wish. Really, sometimes things don't get better but HE remains faithful. I have seen that in the past few weeks. We had prayed for months for Peter. His need for medication, release from jail, a place to go, someone to support him, SSI, a job, resolution of taxes and medical bills, etc. When Peter did not get into the group home (my plan) I was disappointed. But what has transpired over the past month really has been good and I am grateful.
Peter remains in temporary housing with plans to move into a more long-term situation at the same apartment complex soon. His Disability payments have been reinstated and he is also receiving Food Stamps. The Food stamps won't buy much more than peanut butter and jelly but it helps. Peter to my knowledge is taking his medication. He is being checked on by the ACT team. Peter is at Lowes today for new employee orientation. Lowes is a couple of miles from the apartment but Peter seems to be okay with it. This is a job that he went out and got on his own. Peter talks to me occasionally but is not needy. One of my big concerns has been taxes. I had made it this big deal in my head. I feared he would owe money and preparations would be complicated. I had been asking the ACT team for help and received radio silence. So with April 15th looming, this morning I finally sat down with H&R block On-Line and tackled it. Peter is getting a refund! It will cover the online tax prep cost and give him enough to feel like he has a little bonus. What a relief. And to think of all the energy I spent worrying about that.
Today's event inspires me not to worry about the medical bills Peter incurred last year. However, he does need some guidance so it is a continued prayer request. I know this journey is not over. But there is no doubt that many of your prayers have been answered. Thank you for encouraging me by joining me on this journey. I continue to pray that Peter will willingly take meds and that the Doctor will be wise in knowing what is the best course of medication. I also pray that Peter will have positive friends and community and that this job will be a good fit for him. I pray for my relationship with him. I am pretty sure parenting any adult child is tricky and the mental health piece makes it seem even more so.
There are SO many things I want to share with you. My life encompasses so much more than Peter and my worries for him. I have this creative job that I love. I get to spend time with my incredible mom. I have great friends and experiences that I want to talk about. And my head is full of stories, observations, and other random but perhaps interesting thoughts. I am more than Peter's crisis and I so long to share that with you. However, writing requires time and energy and sometimes I just can't find extra stores of either But someday I hope that I will find it. I would love to tell you about my LOVELY trip to the beach. Maybe one day this week...
Oh and just for clarification of the last two posts. The post I sent from the beach for some people (including myself) came through as just random numbers and letters. I assumed that was what everyone received so I sent the second one for clarification. But it sounds like some people were able to read the first one fine. Sorry for any confusion.
Off to do yard work with mom! with love,
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