Hope in the darkness

I have not written a post in a bit because honestly, I wanted mom to enoy her trip to Kansas and not worry by following along with the events of here. She's home - had a great trip by the way.  And now it feel liks a lot to catch up on.  And because I couldn't drag my body out of bed sooner. I don't have much time.  I do want to give an update with prayer request because I am feeling weary and needy.

Friday the 11th, after being released from Jail, Peter made his way to Gainesville arriving at my porch after midnight.  I have held my ground and did not let him in.  I have allowed him to stay on the porch and he has been there the past 9 days.   He was agitated the first morning and I was able to get the police and the mental health clinician involved.  This was a good thing, allowing them to know he was here.  He has been calm and agreeable most of the time since.  

I took him back to Athens for a court appearance last Thursday.  I am grateful fo Melissa for being my emotional support person during it as well as the public defender, TAC coordinator and judge all of whom I was impressed with. There are efforts to get Peter qualified for Mental Health Court which would provide accountability in requiring him to get medication treatment as well as offers other support.  Currently he is not taking medication.  There is the possibility that he can serve out this 1 -2 year program here in Gainesville instead of Athens.  Peter currently is adament about not wanting to be in Athens. There are pro's and cons of both places.  I And it all hinges on his willingness to participate.  The leverage is that it is in leiu of jail/fines for his 3 misdemenors on August 4th.  The mental health court is set up to help those with mental illness.  It currently makes me grateful for his recent arrest. 

So here are my current anxiety/fears:

• With the potential of him serving this in 2 places, that Peter will slip through some cracks
• The systems are stretched thin and again I worry he will get lost in the shuffle
• I am wearing out and not being able to keep up the squeaky wheel thing by contacting people.
• I am wearing out with Peter on the porch.  Although he is not in the house I fear we are slipping back into some of the enabling stuff.  He expects me to take care of him.  I have been firm with my boundary about him not living in the house so far but not sure what else I may need to do. (he has come in to shower a couple of times but uses the bathroom in the park next door.) There are no shelter options and no real accesible free food options in Gainesville.  Housing is rare and expensive.
• Peter is unmedicated and thus  he is not easy to reason with.  He is not under stress (he has shelter and I provide food) so he is not aggitated.  And for those who worry about my safety, yes I am vigilant and live behind locked doors when at home.  I have learned to read his moods and know when I need to back off.  Again he has been pleasant and funny most of the time.  And the police are familiar with us and I am not afraid to call 911.

Please pray

• The needed agencies will reach out to him even today
• He will get help in Athens or Gainesville and the where will be clear, and Peter agreeable.
• A place for Peter to live and he will be agreeable.
• Courage to do what I need to do in keeping my boundaries.  I am not going to be able to maintain having a porch mate for an extended amount of time.
• Peter to willingly take medication. - And an effective one can me found.
• For him to receive the needed SSI, food stamps and medicaide.

Thank you