Peter

 So this one comes from the mama heart.  This is to ask  you to pray.

As told in a blog a couple of weeks past, Peter was in a car wreck that totaled his car.  It was not his fault and the driver's insurance is paying out a more than fair settlement.  Peter was provided two weeks of a rental car as well.  So I have been very hands off except for helping with a couple of paper work items.  Peter received the money yesterday and has bought a car as of today.  He is to go pick it up tomorrow.  He is doing this all on his own with the help of Lyft.  

Sunday night Peter came in from work and told me he didn't work at Texas Roadhouse anymore, that he had quit.  He said they treated him like a servant and it just wasn't his scene anymore. He is looking to go into retail.  He didn't say it but my guess is that is until he goes into modeling.  The numerous hats and sunglasses left in front of the mirrors indicate he is still preparing.

Peter says he plans to pick up the car tomorrow and drive it home then let it sit here until he gets a job and then put insurance on it.  . . . . right my red flag meter starts having a fit. Remember that time he was in a wreck 30 minutes after picking up his new car.  Add that to all the other red flags all ready in motion.  

Peter is unemployed.  And he thinks he is beneath many jobs.  He also struggles with filling out applications etc.

I do not know the status of the law suit with the car accident earlier in the year.  Peter says he doesn't know and I am choosing not to get involved.

Peter and I have some conflicts with our rooming situation. Basically I have a squatter living in my house with bad hygiene and often inconsiderate of my request.  

Peter stopped seeing his therapist several months ago.  I wrote a letter to his psychiatrist today to give her some background before Peter's medication check up via the computer this coming Tuesday. Those appointments are usually a fly by.  I hope she will take time to read the letter and consider my concerns for Peter's well being.

Peter is not having psychotic episodes but I do think there is a fare amount of delusional thinking about who he is and what is owed him. He lives in a virtual world with no to few physical real friends.  He does most things alone or is in his room.

We did meet with the Naturopath this past week.  Peters brain inflammation has shown improvement and it was encouraging.  Peter will continue on the supplements for the time being as long as I can afford it.  If nothing else Ricardo is an encouragement to me and allowed me a safe space to talk about my concerns in front of Peter.  

The big thing for me is knowing what I am to do as an advocate verses what is being an enabler.  When am I showing kindness and when am I trying to control things or do something that is not my place.  In the midst of this very paragraph, Peter called.  His debit card was declined (due to todays car buying activity) and he couldn't leave the restaurant he had walked to until he paid.  I was able so went and helped him.  The win for me was he had an alcoholic drink with dinner and he was chatty.  I think in that case I did the right thing,.  But I am constantly facing that decision - am I showing love and mercy or enabling and preventing God from using the suffering for Peter's good.

I have watch Peter suffer and experience many hardships his whole life.  I don't want to watch more.  And yet as my wise friend recently reminded me, "God uses hard times to bring us to the end of ourselves."  She also said "you don't do a kid a favor if you protect them from their mistakes."

Okay so I will not conclude with a list of prayer request.  I have provided my thoughts and heart.  I will trust God to lead you to pray for Peter and his mom based on these.  

Thanks for listening, caring and praying.

Hot Flashes

In my mid twenties I was in a BSF group led by a woman in her 50's.  It's the first time I can remember hearing a woman talk about hot flashes.  I think she was experiencing one during one of our fellowships.  My thought at the time was that she was being a little over dramatic.  Whats the big deal I thought?  So you get hot.  We all get hot, you know like out in the sun while working in the yard, hanging out at the pool, in a hot kitchen, etc.  I don't have contact wither her, don't even remember her name but to her and any other woman I labeled as wimpy and over dramatic about menopausal hot flashes, my deepest and sincerest apologies. I totally misunderstood.

I thought a hot flash was just being hot.  I did not know it was really about an internal thermostat malfunction.  Being hot is one thing but all of the sudden having the thermostat flung to 98 degrees by the hormone fairy is something else.  But even that doesn't explain it.  Its the fact that just about the time you figure out how to deal with it by stripping off layers of clothing and sitting in front of a fan, another hormone fairy comes along and drops the thermostat to 48.  Now you are barely dressed and hovering in front of a fan when it feels like a Northeastern is blowing in.  You scramble to find a sweater, hat, socks, blanket and a hot cup of tea when fairy number one comes back and kicks the thermostat up to 98 again.  So you are back to removing layers, looking for a fan, a cold slushy drink etc, etc. 

So it's not about "being hot," per say, its about the weariness of being in the middle of the hormone fairies thermostat war.  It's the exhaustion of keeping up with the constant change of body temperature and never knowing when it's going to happen.  It interrupts sleep, work and leisure, screaming for attention. It's not painful but like a mosquito buzzing in your ear, it's just so 'drive you crazy'  annoying.  And someday those young twenty somethings I work with are going to understand that I am not being over dramatic either!

For those who wondered . . . .

Why did Linda fly across the country to Washington State in the midst of a Pandemic?

• because I was invited by people I love to be with and I knew I'd be encouraged by laughter and truth. I was not disappointed.  Things I hadn't counted on but was delighted by included a fascinating, in depth biblical and scientific discussion on Noah's Ark with Ron; the pampering of a pedicure and a hair cut; fabulous food and new recipes; stories of faith that encourage and propel me forward; even more laughter than I anticipated; and the best blueberry lemon Creme Brulee ever!

How was the travel?

• Pretty easy.  I like pandemic travel as the airports are less crowded and there is more room on the airplanes.  I even had a whole row to myself to stretch out and sleep on the long Seattle to Atlanta flight home. And things were very clean.  

How did Mama Millie and Penelope (my cat) fare?

• As I expected they enjoyed each other.  Mama Millie seemed to enjoy Penelope's antics and companionship as well as Penelope loved the great views of birds, butterflies and squirrels from Mama Millie's windows. Penelope only escaped twice providing for great stories considering Mama Millie was able to recover her!

How did Peter do in my absence?

• He took his medicine.  He was faithful to attend work even when a car wreck Thursday night left him car-less.  His car was totaled when a car pulled out in front of him.  He has been dealing with insurance the past couple of days and has a rental car as of tonight.  Its a black pick up which is quite a switch from his white sedan. Makes me grin. I am working hard to not get involved and let him handle this.  As always there are many reasons to be apprehensive.  Peter and cars have been a thorn in my fragile nerves! So as you think of us you can pray for him regarding driving a rental, the settlement with the insurance, his settling debt with his grandma, and his future plans for transportation.  Although it was stressful to receive his call while I was far away, I am so grateful he was not hurt and that the distance forced me to let him handle it without trying to rescue him.  With that, pray for me to let him deal with it without interfering or enabling. 

Am I glad I went?

• Absolutely yes! It was so fun to rest, be refreshed and LAUGH!!   I was challenged spiritually in a way that I hopefully have come home with renewed purpose.  I am so grateful for Ron and Sue, their influence in my life and the joy they bring me by their friendship. 
• And don't fear, I will let you know if I get Covid-19 and question whether I should have gone!