In case you wondered

So I tend to be bad about telling my story in the middle and forgetting to let you know the end or at least the progression.

Peter is walking less like Quasimodo and wears his brace most of the time.  Last Sunday he went out without it before I realized it. Peter does not appear to be doing anything at home to strengthen his knee or improve his health.  However he appears to be working hard at PT and is on track in the normal progression of things.   

Peter turned 18 last Saturday.  He didn't want to go out as he said it was too much trouble to get dressed up with the brace and all. I don't think that was the whole truth but we just left it at that.  He wanted take out Red Lobster while he watched Football on the couch.  Peter said we could sit and eat take out in the living room with him.  Instead my folks and I went out to Red Lobster to celebrate Peter's birthday and brought him a take out box.  Except for the gifts (that Peter had pretty much pre-picked) and the Red Lobster it was an average day for Peter.  For me it was as if this weight fell off. Peter is 18 and I am not legally responsible! Woo hoo! I know that may sound strange perhaps unrealistic or harsh to some.  Yet it may help to understand that I operate from a very high sense of responsibility. Many of my decisions are greatly effected by feeling responsible for something or someone.  Until a week ago, legally I would be held responsible for Peter.  With Peter turning 18 I don't feel the responsibility.  Now I have choices.  I know I always did but without the legal responsibility weighing on me I can better see the freedom of choice.  (And yes there has been therapy sessions to help me get to this point.)  Presently I am choosing to support Peter to help him graduate from high school and to recover from his knee surgery.  As we reach those milestones, we will see what is next.

Hurricane Matthew caused our trip to Saint Simon's Island to be canceled. Graciously we have been given the chance to reschedule.  I am pretty excited that we now plan to spend Christmas at St Simon's Island.  We have often talked about going somewhere for Christmas but never have.  So this year we will and I am looking forward to it.  Due to that canceled October trip and some other factors, my folks have decided to fly to Kansas here at the end of October.  Their philosophy is that as long as they can keep going and doing, they will. And I am so glad that they can and do.

Fall has arrived and I am grateful for the cooler weather.  I have done a little fall decorating outside and have a bit more yard work to do next week.  Hopefully next week I will share a few pictures. Meanwhile there are bills to pay and homework to do.  So until next time, . .  . 

Riding the Coaster

So if you haven't figured it out yet, I emotionally tend to ride the roller coaster.  It has probably always been a bit that way but at this point in life the loops and falls tend to happen within a 24 hour period as compared to being spread out over days or weeks.  I typically wake up plunging down fast and make the climb to the top by the time I reach my awesome preschoolers.  Throughout the day there will be some twist and turns and as evening hits I tend to plummet down again.  The big question always is whether the physical is influencing the emotional or the emotional is influencing the physical.  I am somewhat supplement dependent to get through the day and my coworkers know when I accidentally forget to take them in the morning.  Though I think I would be much happier to live life on a simple Tea cup Saucer ride, I am trying not to fret and embrace the ride.

With that preamble you can imagine that since I shared about the great visit with Peter's PT's, there have been highs and lows.  

Low - Friday, I lost it with Peter in a situation that I could have handled so much better than I did.  And I can feel the residual from him as a result.

High - Mom and I had a delightful celebration of her birthday Saturday afternoon having lunch and window shopping.

Low - Cable TV means I am staying up too late and I am making poor food choices so I feel kind of yuck.

High - Sunday afternoon was somewhat lazy while talking with two dear long distance friends on the phone.

Low - Peter decides he isn't using his crutches so is walking like Quasimodo. I am pretty sure he does not have his brace on accurately but he will not accept any advice or expressions of concerns from me.

High - I bought a purple mum, some baby pumpkins and new white chairs for my outside decoration.

Low - I shouldn't have spent the money on the above items.

High - We are headed for the beach in 3 days.

Low - There is a Hurricane headed the way of that beach.

On and on the ride goes.  So currently I am praying for emotions that resembles one of those sedate kiddie rides at the amusement park and for clear direction about what we do regarding this beach trip.