Principles from a Week of Yard Work

So when I was teaching bible in Uganda, I received some great training.  One of the concepts that I was taught was how to look for principles in bible passages.  These principles are timeless truths that can be applied to daily life. Biblical principles are the ones with lasting value.  Nonetheless I find myself often creating principles out of daily experiences.  They may not be timeless or always true but they are revelations that I find would be worth remembering.  Here are a few principles from the week of working in my yard.

 

1) It is better to buy the more expensive spray paint even if you can buy 4 cheap ones for the price of one of the better grade.  You will end up having to go buy cans of the more expensive one the next day anyway. That is unless you like your tires for your tire garden project to look like a molten bunny or chocolate crinkle cookies with a broken powder sugar surface.

 

2) "This is my last trip to the Home Depot/Lowes and I will be done" most likely isn't.

 

3) The yard to do list never really shrinks.  By the time you work through the list, foliage grows up and it has to be done again.

 

4) Most likely the best flower pot is that ice cream bucket in the shed so don't waste so much time shopping for a pot.

 

5) If your trunk will only hold 2 bails of pine straw on your garden store trip, you will find your flower bed requires 3 when you actually go to disperse it.

 

6)If you keep waiting to clean your house until you get your outside work done the house will probably get so bad that you will keep making more outside projects.  So just clean the house to start with.

Looking beyond the surface

This past week was my "vacation week."  That just means that I didn't go to my summer job as the preschool was closed for the week.  I used the week to spend some time with friends and family, work on some home projects and occasionally splurge in "play activity" such as reading a book in the middle of the day or going to the movies. It was nice however it went by way too fast.

 

Today I am exhausted.  Yesterday I acted as the day of coordinator for the wedding of the daughter of a friend.  The newlyweds are fabulous, it was a small family centered wedding, and the reception had a casual fun vibe. It was a lot of fun and a lot of work.  The bonus for me is that the ceremony took place at a church a just blocks from my house and the reception at a cabin  across the street from my house.  It was a full day of putting things together, organizing people and breaking things  all down again.  Today I woke up and my body was protesting.  My car needs unloaded as it is full of stuff I carried to the wedding. But right now being quiet seems the best option.

 

So I have been doing a little bible reading and journaling.  As I sit here thinking I have some thoughts as I have reviewed my week.

 

1) "Things aren't always as they seem."  Yesterday as I participated in the wedding activities I learned things about my friends that most people would not guess from casual knowledge or interactions.  (All good stuff by the way!)  There were also some challenges going on among some wedding participants that would have likely not have been guessed if not told. It was a reminder that you can't always judge a book by the cover.  It reminded me to be careful about making quick judgments.  For one I might miss out on some real blessings as well as I might miss out on being a blessing to someone in need.

 

2) "Just when you think you are done, likely you are not." or "Just when you think you have it perfect, you find another spot you have missed."  This week I spray painted an old Rattan chair.  I bought the chair for $5 at a yard sale about 7 years ago.  It has spent time in most all the rooms of my house at one time or another.  I have spent many hours in that chair, needless to say I think I got my money's worth.  Recently the chair was relocated to my front porch.  The chair was not handling the moisture well so I decided to paint it.  After a good bit of consideration I ended up with a satin Indoor/Outdoor spray paint called "Oregano."  I bought two bottles and began to spray.  I was in the middle of my 2nd can when I thought I just about had it perfect.  Then I approached the chair from another angle and discovered more unpainted spots.  This process continued until the can was empty.  I congratulated myself on accomplishing the task with 2 cans.  However as I went to place the chair back on the porch I discovered numerous unpainted spots.  Over half way into the third can (that I had to go out and buy) I covered all the bare spots.  Well at least I think I have but there is a partial can remaining just in case.  That rattan chair has all kinds of nooks and crannies. Looking at the chair from different angles resulted in seeing new and perhaps typically overlooked surfaces.  I got to thinking about how that was so real to life in general.  I think I have my house clean and organized just to discover another drawer or closet in need.  And by the time that one is organized there is another one gone astray.  Or I think that I have everything I need for decorating the porch just to discover, there is one more thing, I must have.  Today's "to do" list gets checked off but there is a new one tomorrow.  Personal issues are resolved or dysfunctions over come just to reveal another one beneath it.  It is so easy to believe in the "if only I can reach this goal or overcome this obstacle, all will be well."  But usually there is another one to replace it. 

 

I think the "ah ha" for me in these illustration is to recognize life as a process. It is a process of discovery and growth. Accept and enjoy the process instead of obsessing with the finished product because until I am with Jesus, the process wont be done. And to be careful not to miss gems in th process because of preconceived ideas. This thought isn't profound or new.  Others have said it and I know I have acknowledged it before but this week I was reminded of it.  Often there is more than meets the eye.  And the process of looking for and finding the hidden whether it brings blessing or pain can be a good thing.

The Red Bag Chronicles - Pictorial

So you thought I had finished the Red Bag Chronicles .......  As friends will tell you, where I am concerned good bye is rarely the end as I always tend to forget something.  As I was down loading a few pictures from the Kansa trip I thought I would include a few favorites here.  I have always been one who likes pictures with my stories. Skip the first four pictures of the grave stone thing is too creepy for you!

Larry's graveside - before the service.

Yes that is my parent's grave stone to the right.  They have planned ahead as a gift to me.

 

 

After the Service.



We only needed one balloon but we bought a spare "just in case." 
Peter is taking care of the spare by trying to suck out the helium. 

After "rolling with it" for the first three days, Peter was provided with some entertainment on Sunday.

At the front gate of the K-state Football stadium.

Hitting balls at a driving range.  Tiger Woods, he is not but he makes for a nice photo.

 

My cousin Dale provided a little adrenaline rush. 
 

And just before we left Kansas, my sweet folks with the flowers from Larry's service.  They were left at the hotel's reception desk for others to enjoy.

The Red Bag Chronicles - Final thoughts

Two months of planning was completed last week as we made the trip to Kansas and had Larry's memorial service.  The red bag was emptied of his remains as they were left there.  Mom put some items in that small carry on bag for the trip home. But carrying that bag home was different.  It was not the treasured bag that was cradled and watched like a hawk.  It was just another piece of carry on luggage to be accounted for.  And I have to say it felt weird and it made me feel kind of sad. 

 

Upon returning home, I have begun my summer job working mornings at a preschool.  I have made some social contacts, put a few things away, spent a little time with Mom and Dad, bought a few groceries and read a couple of silly books.  Today begins my week of vacation as the preschool is closed all next week.  And I am feeling a bit like that red bag.  Kind of empty.   Like the bag, I can fill the time with things - work, activities, projects, social visits, household chores, etc.  But yet there is a sadness. The final act of saying goodbye to Larry has been done.  Yet the grief lingers.  Grief is such a funny thing.  It seems to stir up other grief and feelings which can all get a little muddled.  The sadness isn't just about missing Larry.  It is somehow bigger than that.

 

In my effort to come up with my concluding statement, I left that paragraph and went into the kitchen to reheat my coffee.  Then I made breakfast.  And I tried to put the words together and I still don't quite have it.  It is something about grief being a good reminder that this life isn't all there is.  How grief can help with perspective and drive us to God.  But I am not sure that is exactly where I am trying to go either. 

 

So in conclusion I will simply say this.  Thank you for traveling on this journey.  Thank you for encouraging me to write my thoughts by telling me you enjoy reading them.  I am not immune to the flattery and well it does spur me on.  And I do find that writing them down helps.  I will say that this is the end of "The Red Bag Chronicles" but we all know it wont be the end of my rambling.  Perhaps even this week as I dig around in the yard, help with my friend's wedding, tend to household and family needs, and even just "be" (as I hope I can make myself do) I will be back with more stories and thoughts.

The Red Bag Chronicles - Reconnecting

My parents each had three siblings.  They tended to have larger families than ours which resulted in 14 cousins on mom's side and 9 cousins on dad's side.  17 of those cousins lived in Kansas while we were growing up.  Larry and I were on the young end of the cousin pool.  I think I am the youngest on both sides and remember feeling a bit cheated when the older cousins started having children pushing me out of my coveted position as the "baby."  Larry and I grew up a long ways from the others however made visits with the family every year or so.  I have memories of summers as well as Christmas's with various cousins, aunts and uncles.

 

Most of the cousins lived in more rural settings than we came from.  It was always exciting to explore their homes and yards which seemed SO much bigger than our little suburb home.  Although they weren't all living on farms, that is how we viewed it.  It is funny that I remembered the spaces as being so much bigger than they actually were as I discovered upon revisiting last week.  I remember walking to "town" with my cousins for ice cream one time.  In my mind it was this really long walk and a big act of independence.  I laughed when I saw it the other day and realized that my aunt and uncle had actually lived quite close to the store. I also drove around "grandma's park" - the park across the street from Grandma's house - and laughed to see that it was not quite as big as I remembered it either.

 

I thought my cousins were really cool living out in the country.  When we visited there was so much space to explore.  I thought they were pretty fantastic. We did things with them that were so foreign to our small family of city dweller.  I remember my first demolition derby, pulling thistles out of a large field, shelling peas, and large family picnics and Christmas parties just to name a few.  I have really fun memories of childhood visits to my cousins in the country.  It has been funny to discover that some of them thought we were the exotic ones as we arrived in our little VW bug with it's lack of engine in the front along with our different accent. 

 

The regular visits to Kansas stopped when I became a teenager.  This past weekend was my fourth visit to Kansas in the span of thirty plus years.  Needless to say, I have lost touch with many of my cousins.  Since my mom is a great communicator, I have heard of some of their adventure and seen pictures but have had little contact.  I saw some cousins on this trip that had not seen me since I was a little girl with blonde pig tails.  Over the past few years, relationships with a couple of these cousins have been in the process of being restored.  It was fun to continue that trend last weekend as I connected with so many more cousins.

 

After four paragraphs of back ground, I am getting to the point.  And truthfully I am struggling to know exactly how to express it.  But I want to try - for my sake more than yours.  My family grew up in an isolated way.  We lived far from extended family with only occasional interactions.  In some way's Larry's disabilities isolated our family socially.  For the most part we have been a pretty independent functioning nucleus.  That is a generality of course because there are many people including family who have supported us along the way.  Yet over the long haul, in the physical sense our family unit has functioned on its own. With Peter's addition to our family we became a family of five and now with Larry's death we are back down to four. 

 

At Larry's memorial service, the four of us sat on the front row.  And behind us were fifty or so family and friends supporting us and sharing with us in our grief and our memories. That is a physical picture of the whole long weekend in Kansas.  I realized we were not alone.  We spent time with family and reconnected.  Though there has been time and space between me and the extended family, I realized connections that were easily rekindled. There is a support system, a bond with my extended relatives that I had not realized.  I saw them embrace me, Peter, "uncle Bob" and "Aunt Millie" in such a way of acceptance that made me realize I wasn't alone and I didn't have to remain feeling isolated. 

The Red Bag Chronicles - a Shout Out

As our trip to Kansas approached I was feeling some anxiety over the many details of travel, lodging, the funeral etc.  Though mom was the chief organizer I had come along side to help and had taken on a sense of responsibility to see that all went well.  Especially in the days prior to departure I was praying for helpful people along the way.  And God answered.  He did send us helpful folks along the way - many strangers in route  who showed kindness and helpfulness in abundance.  So I want to do a little "shout out" in gratitude for these kind folks.

 

It all started with Alex the college aged wheel chair assistant who took dad to the gate at the airport.  He was funny and conversational making the anxious journey through security so much more pleasant.

 

There is Felicia at the Delta Airline gate who when she saw the pot luck seating we had received said "oh that will not do." She took the extra time and effort to get all four of us up front and in adjacent seats.  She was pleasant, kind and funny.

 

There is Carlene at Dollar Car Rental who went the extra mile to help me get a document faxed from my Insurance Agent.  It wasn't something she needed to have but was willing to help me obtain for my own personal benefit.  And again she was just so nice.  There are those other two ladies (whose names I did not catch) at the same car rental place today who showed genuine kindness when I dropped my car off.

 

Then there was the staff at the Residence Inn we stayed at.  It began when I made the reservation with the manager Colleen  2 months ago and she gave us the bereavement discount due to our reason for travel. She was so kind on the phone.  Colleen was there when we arrived Thursday and I was blown away by her genuine compassion.  She was always pleasant and eager to help any way she could.  She was such a kind and compassionate soul that when I saw her while loading the car for the memorial service, I burst into tears.  Crazy but something about her gentle spirit made me comfortable to shed tears in her presence.  Along with Colleen there was Hilary and others whose names I didn't know.  Hillary printed my airline tickets before we left and listened to me ramble a bit.  The staff attending to the desk, cleaning the rooms, and providing the breakfast were all so very pleasant.  The accommodations were nice.  They had thought of just about everything that you might need.  There was always coffee available.  I was grateful for the computer easily accessible for guest use.  And this was all located in the heart of a shopping and restaurant mecca!

 

Lets see, who else. . . . .

 

Oh there is that sweet grocery store florist who whipped up a beautiful centerpiece for Larry's memorial guiding us as mom and I choose the flowers and vase. 

 

At the small town (and I mean small town) funeral home there was Wayne and Sharron.  They corresponded with my mom for two months over the details.  The day before the service they went through all the details and listened to our sharing of memories.  They were even at the door with an umbrella when we got out of the car into the pouring ran that day.  They both were there Saturday to help make sure things went well and that what we wanted was done.  And once again they were just so pleasant and kind.

 

Then there are numerous family members and friends who participated in Larry's services, gave one or more of us a ride, shared a meal, or simply went out of their way to visit.  This is where it gets tricky because I might get in trouble for leaving out names.  I think I will save those stories for another time.

 

Needless to say, we are so grateful for all of the people and specifically the strangers who showed great kindness, care and helpfulness during our journey. Thank you God for abundantly answering my prayer.