Where We Are

If you have been wondering -

- Larry is making progress with rehab.  He still has little use of his right leg but his arm strength is increasing.  He is progressing in his ability to feed himself as well as push his wheel chair down the hall.  Having gotten over a sore throat and a stiff neck, he seems to be in fairly good spirits most of the time.

- Dad has been given the go ahead to drive as well as return to work.  As he likes to quote our dear friend Helen, "he is kicking, just not very high." 

 - Mom makes her visits to Larry two times a day.  She daily continues to push Larry to practice skills in the areas that the physical therapist, speech therapist and occupational therapist are working with Larry. As always mom seems to take care of everybody and do it with a smile on her face.

- Peter will be home on Spring Break next week.  He continues to "get by" at school.

- Next year's Military School Application is on the table ready to be filled out (hopefully this weekend) as well as the financial aid application.

- I am in the throws of "whirling" as I work on a variety of year end projects for my preschool class.

- Running season is under way.  I ran a women's 5K in Atlanta with a friend this morning.  It was a lot of fun as we ran with hundreds of women through the streets of Atlanta.  It was interesting how many men I noticed came out on their porches to watch.  At the end every woman was given a flower, a t-shirt, and a glass necklace along with other goodies.  It was fun.  I have several other races in the line up for this spring.  I plan to run the Peachtree 10K Road Race in Atlanta with thousands of other in July and my big goal is to run in a half marathon at the beach in October.  As my coworker said, running has become "my happy place" and I am grateful for the physical ability to do so. 

- and yeah, the cat never came back.

Now I get it!

One great phenomenon to me is kids and their light up shoes.  At school, a child will run up to me stomping their feet saying" look at my shoes" as they burst into flashes of light.  It is not uncommon to have a child on any given day at school sporting a pair of light up shoes. The more the child dances, jumps and runs, the more they sparkle.  And it appears the more the shoes sparkle, the more the child sparkles too.  

As a parent and a teacher, light up shoes do not always produce joy.  Children are easily distracted by the lights on their shoes.  Teachers can often be distracted by the lights on their shoes!  I remember Peter having a pair of light up shoes when we lived in Uganda. There were times at night that I could see flashes of light coming from the shoe shelf in the hallway and no little feet were in those shoes.  Earth quake tremors? other unknown explanations?  Whatever it was, shoes lighting up on their own in the hallway is just a little unnerving. So needless to say I have not been one to champion the inventor of the light up shoe.  It just seems so unnecessary and pointless.  That is until recently.

When Peter told me he was going to participate in track we went shoe shopping.  In order to maximize our dollar and take advantage of a store promotion we each got a pair of running shoes.  I knew that I would need a new pair soon so decide I might as well get a pair to put away for later.  We were shopping at the end of a long day, at the end of a long week and my feet were tired.  Therefore I bought the shoes that provided the most comfort and relief. They just happened to be neon yellow and green.  I put my lemon-lime Saucony running shoes in the closet and told myself that after my 10 K road race in March, I would get them out.  So the other day having completed the 10 K, I decided to take them for a spin. Okay so in-spite of being taught to look ahead as I run, I couldn't help but look down at my glowing kicks. It really is kind of fun to watch your feet sparkle underneath you. That's when I finally understood why kids like light up shoes.  So next time a child comes into class with his new sparkling kicks, I hope to roll my eyes less and rejoice with them more because now I get it!

Avalanche

Last week I was telling a friend about the recent family events as well as other challenges that I am currently dealing with.  She sighed and said "Wow, you have had an avalanche." That was such a helpful comment.  It has given me a visual of what I am currently feeling. And visuals help me process.  

I felt like I was overacting by some of the emotions I was experiencing and the paralysis to be able to take action.  However when I see it as an avalanche, it makes sense.  I have never been buried under physical rubble before but from what I have heard, it really is hard to move when one is buried under debris.  It can be hard to breath.  And usually one can not get themselves out from under it by one's self.  

The other day I wrote out a list of all the debris that I felt like I was burred under and laid it before God.  I told him I couldn't get out and I needed him to do something.  As the day went on, I experienced the removal of some of the burden.  But mostly I experienced a sense of peace as I continued to lay underneath it all. Today I woke up and I realized I was still buried under the rubble.  Breathing was hard again and the magnitude of what I feel like I need to do get out from under was again very heavy.  So first of all I was kind of mad.  Had I not asked for help?  

I saw a movie once about men buried under the World Trade Center rubble.  They were there a long time and the process of being uncovered was not quick.  Once they were discovered there was still a process of waiting as pieces were carefully removed and they were dug out.  What they had though was hope.  Hope that came from knowing that they were not alone and there were people working on their behalf. 

I know that I am not alone.  I know that though I feel either helpless or paralysis in dealing with some of my concerns, God sees and is at work.  So what is my responsibility?  I am not totally sure.  I guess resting in trust of God would be a place to start.  Perhaps I am to daily let him know what is weighing me down and give him the responsibility of getting me out. Yet also I could ask him what I am to do today.  Maybe I am to take those small steps without beating myself up that I did not burst through the rubble and rise to the top all at one go.  I am pretty sure that I need to trust God's love for me and continually watch to see what he is doing in the midst of it. I know in my head that he is using the "avalanche" for my good.  I'd like to focus on seeing that.  I am a doer by nature.  Being unable to get myself out is not comfortable.  But once again perhaps that is exactly where I need to be. I have a tendency to forget that grace is the foundation of my relationship with Jesus and his Father. In all my activity and "good deeds" deep down I get that idea that somehow it is the result of "me."  Nothing like an "avalanche" to remind one of her total dependency upon Jesus for everything that is truly good.

Couldn't sleep

Three post (now four) in such a short space of time?  Couldn't sleep.  Shared a piece of incredible chocolate peanut butter pie with a friend tonight.  Guessing that is the culprit.  I may be a grouchy mess tomorrow but I am three weeks ahead on blog entries.  Got to look on the bright side!!!

My boys

In the afternoon I am the zoo keeper, oh I mean teacher of an after school program for a local church preschool.  I meet 5 little boys (ages 5 to 7) at the bus stop and try to keep them alive until their folks pick them up sometime before 6 pm.  Four of them are kindergartners and one is a first grader. They have spent the day saving up all their energy to unleash when they see me.  Needless to say, our afternoons can be quite an adventure. They often make me want to pull my hair out, oh maybe that is why it is turning gray!!! But I love them and oh they can make me laugh.  Following are a couple of humorous stories.

It wont Last
One of our weekly activities is to pull out the bucket of Legos.  Most of the boys have seen the new Lego Movie so it has been a recent topic of discussion.  There is evidently a girl character named Wild Side in the movie. This is the conversation I overheard the other day.

W- I am in love with Wild Side!  I am in love with Wild Side!
J - She isn't real.
W - So, I am in love with Wild Side!
J- It wont last.
W- It will too!
S - Yeah, it's going to be on DVD!

Act your age
When correcting J of inappropriate behavior I told him, "That is not how 6 year olds act."  J looked at me and said, "I'm 5."  And I started scrambling words to tell him it was also not how a 5 year old should act either.

Spring

Life has had felt "heavy" recently.  I find my mind is consumed with many things.  In the midst of it all God is bringing Spring.  I had the opportunity to enjoy it at Gibbs Gardens this past weekend.

The mission of the day was to see the Daffodil's in bloom.

Some of the daffodils weren't quite ready to pop out.

Some came out in large numbers.

Natural Born Leaders

Ever seen a tadpole sack?

Dare to be different.

The birth of a new country love song "A Lawn chair in the Sun"

These make me happy!

I forget the name of this one.  Not a lot to look at but oh the sweet aroma!

In the Japanese Garden

And we weren't alone!  Lots of folks came to capture Spring.

A selfie of the Traveling Trio - Heather, Tammy and Me

Not the Cat

So I recently wrote about the three events in the family that had recently come our way fulfilling dad's theory that things "come in threes."  If the number really is three then I have decided that the Lost Cat does not count.  

Over a week ago dad came down with a cold.  A few days later mom took Dad to the Doctor. While the Dr. prescribed antibiotics, she also determined that something else was going on. Dad admitted to having limited vision in his right eye.  Test revealed that he had suffered a mini stroke that effected that eye. As a result he is currently restricted from driving, off of work and undergoing a variety of other test. 

Meanwhile Peter is still mad at my position regarding Military School.  I am holding my ground and seeking the funds for his Sophomore year while taking him peace offerings in the form of Oreos, Ramen noodles, chips and Gatorade.  I can tell he is struggling and sometimes it is really hard to be able to do little more than pray.  I have heard for years how prayer is the most important thing I can do for him. However as a "doer" and a "helper" sometimes it is really challenging to rely upon prayer when what you want to do is "fix it."

Larry is making progress though it is slow.  Mom said she likes the therapist who work with him and was encouraged by what she saw today. He fed himself most of his dinner this evening however it required a lot of effort on his part. Movement was seen in his right leg for the first time this week.  He is yet unable to readjust himself in his bed or sit up independently Larry's days as a resident of therapy are close to ending when he will become a nursing home resident receiving therapy.  There is a lot of paper work involved in that change.Our desire is that this process goes smoothly.  Mom says that for Larry to be able to return home he needs to be able to gain enough use of his legs and arm to use his walker. That is the goal that they are working towards.

And no, Felix Adidas Kitty never turned back up.

Threes

My dad says things often come in threes.

1) As stated in previous blog entries, Larry fell a couple of weeks ago requiring stitches in his head and a few days later was in the hospital with right side paralysis.  He spent 8 days in the hospital and underwent a variety of test.  The best that they can conclude at this point is that something happened to his neck in the fall.  (Larry has a lot of internal hardware that limits some test so they can not verify it.)  Last Monday he was moved to a local rehab that is connected to the hospital.  The center is a rehab/nursing home facility that he can remain at for as long as needed. Currently he can not move his right leg but is gaining some limited movement with his arm and hand.  He waved goodbye with his right hand when I left this evening.  Larry's left side has been his weak side for a long time. Through the extensive testing it was determined that what we thought was degeneration to his left side due to the Epilepsy was actually a stroke at some point in the past 20 years.  His inability to use his right side is causing him to use his left hand more. There is a lot that he cannot do including rolling over in bed and feeding himself. Tonight I applied a little tough love and worked with him to use his hands to feed himself his ice cream. (I have been watching the OT's at my school.) He works at operating his remote control and CD player. For some reason his speech has also been effected and he speaks with a whisper most of the time. This does make communication even more of a challenge. Larry is in a nice large room and crazy enough has a roommate named Larry, 20 years older, who fell recently and has right side paralysis. Mom is spending a fair amount of time with Larry due to the fact that he can do so little by himself. 

2) Last Friday I headed out of town to visit a friend because it was a closed weekend at Peter's school. (Peter has been keeping up grades enough that he has been home most weekends this Semester.)  Upon arrival I received a call that Peter had a gash at his left eye and was headed to the ER. Fortunately, mom was just down the hall at the hospital with Larry and was able to be with Peter through the receiving of 7 stitches.  God was gracious and his eye was missed by a centimeter only leaving a 2 inch (maybe) scar along side the eye.  The injury was the result of being pulled into some rough housing that he claims he was trying to stay out of.  Basically he was pulled off a desk however he has created a more dramatic story for when he is asked about the scar in the future.  Peter was home this weekend.  Tonight on the way back to school, next year came up in conversation.  He emphatically told me that he was not going back to Military school next year.  His reasons included the uniform, the schools poor athletic performance, and always being told what to do.  He concluded with the fact that I don't have the money. I chose to let him vent saying little.  I did receive the registration form this week with the payment amount and he is right, I don't have the money.  But I didn't have it last year either and God provided the funds.  I find it a bit distressing  that he doesn't want to go back.  However although there has been definite progress since he began Military school, what I see when he is at home indicates that he would quickly spiral downward should he return to public school next year.  I am praying for wisdom in how to handle this crossroad.  And I am asking God who owns a thousand cattle on a thousand hills to sell some of those cattle to pay for another year, preferably three years. (Thanks May for teaching me that!)

3) Last Sunday night after returning to town and visiting Larry at the hospital, I arrived home about 10:00 PM to be greeted by our mostly outdoor/somewhat inside kitty. He, like Peter must have been in the wrong place at the wrong time and had a big wound on his buttocks.  I was concerned about infection, overdue shots, and my inability to fit getting him help into the next days schedule so I decided to take him  to an emergency pet clinic. With protest, I got Felix Adidas Kitty into a box and in the car.  When I took the box out of the car at the clinic, he pushed his way out of the bottom of the box and being scared by nearby noises headed across a four lane road.  He made it across and I could see him in the Mall parking lot.  I jumped in the car to go get him and by the time I could get my car to the parking lot, he was gone.  That is the last I saw Kitty.  I have checked Shelters with no results. He does have a microchip so if found and checked for the chip, I can be contacted. At this point I simply pray that someone took him in and is caring for him.  I wasn't extremely attached to Kitty but none the less it has been distressing to know he is wounded and on the lam.  Every time time I pull into the driveway and start looking for him on the porch, I get that sick feeling realizing he isn't going to be there.

Three wounded.  Three situations in which I feel rather powerless to change things.  Three opportunities to trust God.

Coming

I know some of you have been wondering about Larry - I promise to give the details before weekends end - headed over to visit with him now.  Thanks