This Week's Covering

I have realized that I tend to live under the belief that if I am not actively doing something, nothing is getting done.  Last weekend, I begged God to show me whatever it was he was trying to show me through the challenges and revelations of the previous week. Since that time in addition to my work and home responsibilities, I spent 14 hours watching a detective show on Netflix, 9 hours reading two silly inspirational romances, and a lot of time consuming chocolate and other sweets.   Not exactly what I define as "actively seeking to know what God is trying to show me."  However as I appeared to be spiritually inactive, God was very active.  In  all those activities God showed me that I was running away and searching all at the same time.  This morning feeling rather defeated,  I crawled humbly to God hoping for "something". In his faithfulness he answered.

One of the scripture references in my morning devotion was Isaiah 30:15 "In repentance and rest in your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."  This verse prompted a very long journal entry in which I repented my sins and poured out all kinds of thoughts.  God brought to my mind events and resulting thoughts that have shaped behaviors. I also claimed the promises of salvation and wrote out areas in which I was choosing to trust God's word.  Following that I opened the other journal.  This is a little book that I began last year.  I am a fan of Sarah Young's devotional, Jesus Calling and use it as a devotional prompt most mornings. I am often amazed at how personally it speaks to me. However I had a thought last year though  that I didn't want to simply hear from God through his words to another, I wanted to hear from him myself.  I am a bit self centered that way!  So I have this little book that I often pull out when I sense that God is directly speaking to me.  In response to reading and responding with writing in my journal to Isaiah 30:15, this is what I heard.

Acknowledge your sin, your feelings, your twisted thinking and skewed beliefs to me.  Rest, knowing that I have forgiven your sins.  Rest, knowing that I am pleased with you and do not condemn you. Rest, believing that I am working to purify your sins and to heal your brokenness   Rest, believing that that I love you.  Take time to still your mind.  Do not let the voices of failure and abandonment yell at you.  Come away from the noise and trust my truth. Trust that I love you. Trust that I am your defender and your protector.  Trust that I am at work even when you are not doing anything. Trust me to meet your needs. Trust me to fill the empty places.  And in that trust will be your strength to keep going, to  resist temptation and to believe when you cannot see.