My New Do

Are you familiar with the animated movie Tangle about the fairytale character Rapunzel.  I have to say, there are scenes and music in this film that make it one of my favorite Disney films.  One of my favorite scenes is towards the end where Flynn Rider saves the day by slashing Rapunzel's long locks with a shard of glass to release her from the evil Mother Gothel.  What results is this adorable brunette bob for which I spend the rest of the movie wishing I could get my hair to resemble. 

Now I am smart enough to know that it is going to take more than one swipe with a piece of glass to produce that cute haircut.  Experience tells me it takes someone with skill as well as some maintenance on my part. Due to the low cost of maintaining, ease of daily care and versatility I have worn long hair for a number of years now.  However I often get the itch for an easy breezy short do every now and then, especially after I have seen one of the many viewings of Tangled on Free Form.  Recently this was the case and I started pursuing Pinterest for real life models of the short shaggy bob.  

A couple of years ago a friend gifted me with a free haircut from her hair stylist.  In Berni I met someone whom I believed could make my hair dreams come true.  So after two years of Berni styling my long layers, I went to her armed with pictures telling her I wanted to do something different.  She acted like it was really fun and well she did not disappoint.  It met all the criteria: easy to maintain, extended wear before haircut needed, and it fit my hip preschool teacher vibe.  And when she was through I did feel like it had that Rapunzel brunette bob charm.

Quite a few years ago in another long to short hair transformation, I discovered a group called Children With Hair Loss that take hair donations of at least eight inches or more.  I felt sure this haircut would result in at least that much so I decided to donate again.  When all was said and done, I was able to donate a ten and a half inch pony tail to the organization.  I added some money to the cause so I could receive this really cool shirt.

On the form, it ask if you are honoring anyone with the donation.  This time around I truly did have someone I wanted to honor.   A little boy in my preschool class was diagnosed with Leukemia at the beginning of the school year and has been going through Chemo.  I was able to "honor" Wesley with this donation.  

That all sounds sweet doesn't it.  But I know and I am telling you, it is a façade.  That hair cut was all about me. There was no sacrifice involved.  Yet I was able to take it and twist it to make myself look like some hero. My pony tail is a small piece in comparison to what is needed for a life changing wig.  I basically bought the T-shirt that says - look at me, look what I did.  And putting Wesley's name on a paper really does nothing for him.  The donation, the shirt and the certificate are an attempt to take a self gratification moment and make it look like it is not. 

I can't help but think of the verse Isaiah 64:6 which says "and all our righteousness's are like filthy rags."  So often even our attempts for good really aren't that righteous if you delve down to the core.  There is often a self pleasing motivation behind it. And sometimes we know it and try to do things so it doesn't look like it is really all about us.  

And my response to that?  Thanks be to God !!!  "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.  There is no difference for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:22-24

Now am I trying to say that I think I was wrong or "selfish" to get this cute hair cut or even donate the hair, buy the t-shirt and put Wesley's name on the certificate?  No, not it all.  I am just pointing out the truth.  It's easy to take something we want and try to make it look righteous or give it "super hero status" in an effort to justify our actions or receive applauds from those around.  My hair donation was TOTALLY about me.  I own it.  And I can only hope that in some small way God uses it. Meanwhile I will proudly wear the T-shirt and flip my short locks out of my eyes with a little sassy swoop!

Happy Valentines Day

I spent my valentines divided by time with each of these people whom I dearly love.  Peter and I went out to lunch at PF Changs before he went to work at Papa Johns.  I told him what I wanted for Valentines was a selfie with him where he didn't try to shoot the bird. My attempts of a selfie of the two of us always end up in him adding that gesture.  So this is what I got for Valentines Day from Peter.

After taking Peter to work, I spent the evening with mom. We took care of her honey-do list for me and then we turned a left over Christmas gingerbread house into a Valentine's cottage. 

 It was just as fun as the Christmas one.  I have one more kit for Easter.  Meanwhile I will be on the lookout for more leftover gingerbread kits for Forth of July, Summer, Fall etc. We concluded our evening with Mexican take out and two episodes of Home Town on HGTV.  I am grateful for time spent with both of these very special people.

In the silence

Once again I have been blog silent.  Though the reason is mostly "just busy" primarily I have not thought I had anything valuable or inspiring to share.  But because some of you are kind and simply wondering what is going on, I will give a brief update.  

Peter began working at a local Papa John's Pizza January 25th.  He says it isn't hard work, it has been consistent and he's grateful for a job.  Being between my house and mom's I don't mind helping with transportation as well as I am glad he is away in the evenings. He is still hopeful believing he will be able to get car insurance once he saves up money.

I think it would benefit Peter to be connected with our local Avita - an outpatient mental health program.  I have made an initial phone call and it is a process for sure.  I need to overcome some dread and continue takings steps to try to get Peter connected as I believe it could be beneficial and offer him opportunity to manage his illness with more independence.

Mom has managed to steer clear of Covid thus far and is working on trying to get a vaccine.  This means phone calls and sitting on hold.  Monday she took a misstep and fell back.  Initial assessment was nothing broken or bleeding.  She has been experiencing some leg pain this week that makes walking "more cautious."  Figuring out which doctor to seek out is the current challenge.  

Monday my bible study girls all officially told me they weren't coming any more - too busy.  Won't lie, I took it personal and it hurt my feelings.  But I called a wise friend, hashed it out and got over myself. So now I am continuing to do homiletics on my own and asking God to bring other people along to share it with. And I pray for God to meet these girls where they are.

I have joined a group of pastoral counselors as a Child Life Coach.  I was invited by my friend and former counselor to pursue some training and be a resource for children and parents.  I now have an established self employed business but we are finding getting people to reach out and employ my services has not been as easy as thought.  I have seen one child and communicated with a few other parents who haven't booked appointments.  The truth is I don't really feel that qualified or equipped and who knows that may be the sabotage.  Though I have some "life coach" training I am really pursuing more learning regarding helping children.  There is a stack of books on the side table now.  But I am not a student who loves reading to learn so it isn't coming easy.  I do believe this is something I am to pursue and that God has and will equip me to do it. So I move forward in the belief.

Periodically my body rebels, it says it doesn't want to do the things I want it to do.  It comes in the form of fatigue and aches.  It has been ongoing and connected to auto immune issues most likely.  This week I have experienced it knocking on the door.  I am working on inviting it in for it's God-refining purpose while seeking to do what I need to, to send it on it's way.

In addition, I am plowing through a Vegetarian cookbook, a gift from Dora trying new recipes and trying to regain a healthy eating lifestyle.   I am reducing facebook and phone time as part of a Social Media Fast.  Oh and yes, I am enjoying my storehouse of Color Street nail strips I acquired as a result of supportive friends to my birthday color street party.

So that's me today , and it's time for work.  Thank you for the ways you pray for me and my family.  Thanks for caring and listing to my petty stuff.