Shearing

As I am just hours away from my self imposed deadline for one post a week, I am debating as what to write.  I have thought of a few "fluff" pieces that would be somewhat quick and painless.  I thought I could tell about having the First Lady of Georgia, Sandra Deal visit my preschool classroom this week to read my kids a story.  I've considered writing about my bowling escapades.  I even thought I could find a picture to post and call it done.  But I have decided that there will be no fluff pieces this week.  I am going to "shear the sheep" and present it like it is.

This week during a counseling session, my counselor gently "called me on the carpet" about a reoccurring response that appears in our sessions.  After spending some time exploring the root of that response, I left the session pleading with God to help me understand what was going on. I was really hoping for a letter of clear explanation and 5 "how to fix it" steps or possibly a miracle that would make it all disappear.  However instead there have been difficult situations, more questions, and some scattered thoughts that don't yet totally connect. Then today, I had another opportunity for someone to gently point out reoccurring relational behaviors that indicate something deeper is going on.  At one point today, I was pretty discouraged.  I was feeling emotionally sheared and a bit "laid bare".  I felt myself wanting to go into hiding.  However somewhat timidly, I poked my head back out and begged God not to stop. I want to know what he is trying to teach me. Ultimately I want to glorify God through this.  Yet I am trusting that as the Good Shepherd, God will not only use this for my good and His glory but that he will cover me through the process as well.